Making a scene

One thing that really bothers me, that my partner does (among other things ), is that she makes a scene when someone cuts in front of her, or does something really rude. I’m the sort of person that tends to keep to myself, and don’t want to call attention to myself. For the most part, my partner is also that way. But on the odd occasion, if someone cuts in line, or does something extremely rude, my partner will loudly start swearing and say a few choice words. Usually, if someone annoys me, I’ll mutter a few words under my breath…but NOOOO, my partner has to be totally full on. There is no discretion in what she’s saying. I get embarrassed sometimes because I’m afraid one day someone is going to come back at her and start giving her a verbal lashing. Who knows what can happen in this day and age, I’m sure anything can happen.

For instance, today we went to the Warehouse, a store here in Melbourne. We were just doing some browsing, and we came across the aisle that had a bunch of candles. We were looking at them, and all of a sudden, this old lady comes right next to my partner, and starts pushing her way in and wants to look at the exact same thing we are. She’s pushing her way in with her hands, as she’s touching all the candle boxes. That’s when my partner started going off. She’s all “f**king b**ch, how rude of you to think you can just push your way in…f**cking b**ch, do you realize how rude that is?” I told her my partner to simmer down, and to just let it go. And she wouldn’t. I told her she was causing a scene, and she’s all “damn right I’ll be causing a scene.”

I sincerely hope that the old lady was hard of hearing, and didn’t hear what my partner had said. I understand rude people, and how it’s not tolerated, but I just don’t like it when my partner starts swearing at people. She just needs to learn to let it go, and to RELAX, as she tells me .

-current mood-JUST AVERAGE at the moment.

1 day down, 5 more to go

Well, I’ve survived yet another day. That means only 5 more days till our interview. 5 more days till my partner and I will be able to “officially” start our lives together. Yes, we’re thinking positive, and we’re thinking that we’ll be granted my temporary residency. Just have to decide whether my partner should take Wednesday night off, or if she wants to take the night off of my birthday. I told her it really didn’t matter to me. It’d be great if she took the Wednesday off, if we knew we had been given the temporary residency in my passport..that’d be something really worth celebrating. But sometimes the officers do the interview, and then later, will grant the visa. But we’re both thinking positive, and thinking that it’ll be granted str8 away. No doubt thou that my partner will ask at the end of the interview

I did some research last night about drivers licenses here in Australia. I heard that I had to take the knowledge test before I could get a State of Victoria license. But I went to the website last night, and it stated, that if you have a current drivers license or on that hasn’t expired in over 5 years, that if you’re from a listed country (which the USA is) you’re not required to take a test. So I’m crossing my fingers that I don’t have to. Technically I don’t have to, until I’m made a permanent resident. Once I’m made a permanent resident, I have 3 months to get a State of Victoria license. But I’ll have to cease my USA license. But I don’t want to do that. I might be able to keep the USA license if I say I use it as an identification card. Just in case something was ever to happen, or if one day my partner and I decided to move to the states..I’d want that license so I wouldn’t have to get another one. I’m not a test taker, AT ALL, and that would only put more fuel to the fire…i.e. stress in my life. At least I don’t have to worry about it for 2 years.

It’s so crazy at how many things I have to do, or had to do when I moved here. Here in a few years, probably actually next year, I’ll have to go and order more passport pages. I think I have 4 pages left. Enough for this temporary resident visa, and enough for one more trip to the states and back. I’ll probably get all of my documentation I need back in the states, that way I don’t have to worry about money orders and converting it all. Then when I get back here, I’ll order my passport pages. There is an office in the city that does US passports and all that jazzy stuff. I won’t have to renew my passport till 2010. And by then, I might even be able to apply for dual citizenship, all the better eh?

-current mood-CALM, for a change.

Great news...yippeee

Well, the days and nights of stress have somewhat paid off. Even thou I’m still stressed, the worst part of my stress I believe is over. All those wonderful people telling me that everything will work out, that I need to stay positive, and me saying my serenity prayer all night last night..it’s all helped. Yes, folks, my partner and I FINALLY got a letter in the mail today. I was so wrapt, happy and filled with utter excitement.

We have our immigration meeting with our case officer next Wednesday, October 12th, at 12:30pm. Our case officer is male, and I hope he’s an easy going one at that. I woke up this morning, telling myself the serenity prayer, and that I was going to be calm and collected while going to the mailbox, and wasn’t going to expect anything. I open it up, and waa laa, the letter is there among our bills . I race back into the house, my partner was still in bed and I said “we got something!!!” She said “okay, open it up,” so I opened it up and started reading….and as soon as I read “we’d like to have you come in for an interview to assess your case” I was jumping with joy.

There was a bit of other paperwork just about providing evidence, and making sure that you have all the appropriate documentation. I’m hoping that that is just a “general” letter they send out to everyone, and that isn’t some indication that means we forgot to add something. I highly doubt we’ve forgotten something, we had over 250 items classified as “evidence to support our case.” I rang up DIMIA again and asked about it, and the guy Jacob, said that it’s only if you’ve forgotten to add something, or haven’t gotten all the paperwork (i.e. medical or police checks). I have my stat dec all prepared, because they mentioned something about having a statement saying why you didn’t have a valid visa, and why you believe the visa should be approved. That too, was a generic letter, wasn’t targeted to just me. But we’ll give the stat dec to the officer BEFORE he has our interview with us, that way he has ALL the evidence before talking with us.
I was talking to my partner last night, and I keep telling myself that God is still watching over us. The reason why I say that, is because we were contemplating whether to lodge the application in person or via postal mail. If we had done it via postal mail, we would have been in a lot more trouble I reckon. Well, maybe not trouble, but I think the outcome would have been different. Lucky for us, we found out I had been unlawful for as long as I did BEFORE we lodged the application. And I was able to write a statement then, to be included with our application. Had we not known, our application may have been denied right then and there. So that in itself, to me, is some positive sign that God or someone is watching over us.

So now we have less than a week before our interview. We have no idea what it will entail. We do know that some couples have had interviews together, while others have had it separately. Some interviews have taken like 15-20 minutes, while others have taken hours. My partner and I really want to have the interview together. I know we’ll both be extremely nervous, as to be expected. But my partner has issues with interviewing and talking to people, I think it’s anxiety. There is a lot at stake, but we both have to stay positive.

I keep on worrying that we don’t have enough evidence, of cohabitation for 12 months, but we have a lot of stuff. It’s just that a lot of stuff isn’t in both our names. But I explained it in our own stat decs, that we don’t have a lot of stuff in both our names..because we wanted to make 100% sure that we would be in this for the long haul before we did. We have a gas/electricity bill in both our names, but it’s hard to put both people’s names on certain things..a lot of mucking around. And we have bought a few big items together, but couldn’t put my name on the account b/c I have no credit here. But with all of our evidence, anyone can see that we’re a couple, and that we’re both financially dependent on each other. Well, actually I’m more dependent on her, because I’m not working. I’m sure we’ll be able to explain all of this during our interview. We mentioned that once the temporary residency went thru, and I was able to stay, we’d change the accounts, and get my name in all of them, minus the ones related to my partner’s house. That’s her house, and she earned it before I even came into the picture. When we are able to buy/build a new house together, my name will be included. But it’s hard to think about building a life together, when there is that note of doubt…because we don’t know if immigration is going to approve us or not. Wouldn’t that be horrible, if we got denied because we didn’t have enough evidence?? I highly doubt that….and I’m going to keep on thinking positive!!!

-current mood-SOOO HAPPY because we got a letter finally, and an interview

"Grant me the serenity...

----to change the things I can, the courage to accept the things I can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference.

No, I haven’t just gone to an AA or NA meeting. I was talking with a bunch of gals in some of the groups I’m in. I asked how does one deal with stress. For the most part, I’ve gotten great responses. One person told me that “stress came in different degrees, end of story.” Ummm, yeh I wasn’t born yesterday I think I know that. Her post wasn’t very helpful in the slightest, how ever many other great women gave me some great insight and great ideas on how to cope with stress.

Even before someone suggested the “serenity prayer” I had thought about it, and said it to myself last night. But I didn’t say it right ::snickers:: But this prayer holds true to my situation. I have to tell myself that I can change some things, but some things I just can’t change. And I have to learn to decipher between the two. Because if I don’t, and can’t, I’m going to have a lot more stress episodes than I’d like to have. But the thing is, this is who I am. All my life, I have stressed about so many things, big and small, but everything seems to have worked out. So why should this situation be any different? I feel like it’s different, because so much is at stake. It’s not just knowing what grade I’m going to get in class, or anything like that. No, this is far more serious, and if it doesn’t work out, how will I cope then? I’ve waited 6 years to finally be able to live with my partner permanently, and we were so close to having it happen. But now this situation has come up, and I have no idea of the outcome.

I have to keep telling myself not to rush things, that I can’t rush things. I know I want to find out our application status, and I want to get a letter from DIMIA. But I can’t make the letter come any faster than it is supposed to. DIMIA is hopefully doing their job, investigating what happened, and will soon realize it was a genuine mistake, on many parts..and will then send us a letter to have an interview. But waiting and waiting to find out if we get a letter, it’s nervewracking. Every morning I wake up and rush out to check the mail. And every morning I’ve come up empty handed. Maybe it’s a good thing that it’s taking awhile, because that means DIMIA is doing their job, and hopefully a thorough job. But let’s just hope they’re not prolonging the inevitable.

The more I think about it, and the more I talk to people, the more everyone is telling me everything will work out. Everyone I’ve talked to have told me not to stress, and that everything will be okay. My partner doesn’t think we’ll have any problems, my parents don’t, my sister doesn’t…the friend of my mum in laws, said not to stress. I have to keep positive thoughts that everything will fall into place. Everyone is cheering us on, whether they know us or not, and that gives me so much hope.

All of this nightmare brings me back to Border Security, an Aussie show that goes behind the scenes of what happens at immigration and customs at the airport, and on Australian borders. There have been 2 seasons of this show, and I’ve watched every single episode. I was interested in watching the show, to see if there was anything related to our case that I had to be aware of. Most of the offenses were drug related, or trying to bring in items that were not declared. But there were some immigration hold ups. One lady in particular….she was from the UK, her partner was from Australia. She stayed here for a certain period of time, but she overstayed her visa by 4 months. I don’t know if she knowingly did (I believe she did). She hired a migration agent and they told her to go to NZ, and come back…and that she’d not have any problems. She did just that, but when she came back, the Australian immigration people pulled her aside. She ended up having her visa cancelled, and was deported back to the UK, w/o any goodbyes or anything. She went back home, appealed the 3 year expulsion, and was able to come back to Australia. The couple is now married. SO in that case, everything worked out for them.

I wonder, because I was here unlawfully for over 60 days, it’ll now be on my record and if I’ll always get questioned, when I am coming back to Australia. The fact that I was giving the bridging visa, to make me able to be here legally, that is a positive aspect. If they thought I was a threat of any kind, I reckon they would have sent me home str8 away. But I never had a visa cancelled, I just overstayed one, by accident. I keep shaking my head and am cursing at myself for doing it the way we did. We had 2 other options, but we didn’t want to call attention to ourselves. So if this application doesn’t go thru, and we lose the appeal..I don’t know if that means there will be an expulsion period for me. And if there is, how long will be be for?

My partner and I were talking, and if the appeal has to go thru, we will more than likely hire a lawyer. They will know more than us, and hopefully will not just try to get money out of us. But the lawyer will know all about what will happen if the appeal doesn’t go thru. Because what my partner and I were going to do, if the appeal didn’t go thru, was we were going to go back home to where I live, for a short period of time..then we’d go back to Australia. But by this time, immigration would clearly know everything and I’m sure I’d be questioned, because my overstay would be on record. But my partner and I would have been cohabitating for over1.5 years, and this would be legally..if you don’t count the 2 months of unlawfullness.

It seems like there are other options we can do if things don’t go our way the first time. But I know that I’m always going to be questioned. Hence why I have a stat dec explaining why I was unlawful for over 60 days. So if the application IS approved, and I leave and come back..and customs questions me, I’ll have the stat dec as proof that I’m not a threat to overstay my visa, and proof of the fact that me overstaying wasn’t my fault. But if the appliation is approved, I have a 2 year temporary residency visa…so I have to be allowed back into the country, and customs can’t really question me. Well, they could, but there certainly wouldn’t be a threat of me overstaying the visa. After the 2 years, if all goes well again with DIMIA, I’m then granted permanent residency..and then we’re home free.

But I don’t want to be thinking like that. I have to be thinking positive, and have to stay positive. Someone said that what would life be like w/o all of these tests we’re faced with. These stressors, and ups and downs in life only goes to prove that we’re all human. I’m taking this as a major hurdle, and one we’re able to overcome, the light at the end of the tunnel will be in full view. My partner and I are in this together, and together we can conquer DIMIA and anything that is thrown at us. We’ve done it for almost 6 years now. Love will get us thru this, and so will the grace of God and any other spiritual being that is out there.

-current mood-STRESSED OUT, seems to be a common occurence for me.

Affirmation

I’m feeling really stressed out and anxious right now. It’s been 2 weeks since we turned in our application, and still no word. The other couple that we know who is going thru the same process as us, it took them two weeks to get a letter for the interview. I’m just hoping and praying that we’ll get one this week sometime. In one aspect I’m trying to stay positive, because we didn’t get a letter str8 away, saying we’d been rejected. But in another aspect, the longer we are sitting her waiting, the more anxious and worried I get. I was fine this past weekend, I hardly thought about it because I was so busy. But now that it’s Tuesday, and we haven’t gotten anything, I’m feeling scared and worried. Not quite on the verge of tears yet, but I do tremble a bit when I think about this situation. So I thought I’d write my affirmation here.

Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will workout for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Every thing will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Every thing will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us.
Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us. Everything will work out for us.

-current mood-WORRIED because we haven't gotten a letter yet

I was right

I was so right! My partner DID end up taking the night off. She woke up this morning, and walked outside to where I was sitting and she looked like her body ached. She took a bath, and it helped, but she still took the night off. I think the combination of her body aching, and her having her “monthly visitor” she just wasn’t in the mood to go to work. But I seem to know my partner quite well .

Yeh, I will admit, this post is a pretty useless one..but for once in my life I’d like to raise my hand and say “I was right.” Doesn’t seem like I get many chances to do that .

-current mood-FULL from the bbq dinner we had.

Weekend cleanup

Today was another gorgeous day. Yesterday was beautiful, warm, and I worked up a little sweat. Yesterday my partner and I went to her mum’s place to clean up a few rooms. Her mum is going to eventually sell her house, and on Tuesday, new carpet is going to be put in, in certain portions of the house. So we spent most of yesterday cleaning up the rooms, and just cleaning up in general.

I was kind of peeved off, because my mum in law, since October I think, had 2 boys from the Footscray Football Club living with her as tenants. And man, all I can say is, I’m SO glad I don’t live with men. I did for 2 years, and it wasn’t too bad. But these two footy players, they were such slobs. Luckily they’ve both moved out. But one of the boys had a waterbed, and he was supposed to come over yesterday to help empty the bed and then move it. He’s going to Adelaide for 4 weeks, so we needed to put his stuff in storage. We rang him 2 times, but he didn’t end up showing up. So WE had to do it. I wasn’t very impressed.

We came to help clean the house, came with nothing and left with a bunch of stuff. Even thou I’m not a big fan of moving, it’s find to help someone move because someone is always going to be throwing away stuff. My partner’s mum is a major packrat, and she had SO much junk. Traci and my mum in law’s partner was chucking everything out, it was kind of funny. But I guess you have to do that, because if everything was kept, there wouldn’t be enough room in the house to keep stuff.

Today was our day for cleanup. We borrowing a trailer from my partner’s sister, and got up, and just cleaned up the back yard. My partner bought a hedgetrimmer last night, and just went crazy with the bushes and trees. I was in the front, and there were a couple of BIG ivy plants that were crawling up the house in two different areas. I spent most of the day trying to get everything all down. In the front area of the house where some of the vines were, I think the neighbor cats liked to use our front garden area as a potty box, because it smelled rank. Good think it didn’t take me as long to do the very front area.

I was in the middle of my job, when I heard a scream. I asked what the problem was, and should have known…my partner has a fear of spiders, and there was a Huntsman (scary looking spider here in Astralia) crawling near her. She was taking down this HUGE vine that now was a wall of vines next to the shed, and as she was unscrewing the screws that kept the wire up, she saw the spider. It was a baby spider in comparison to some of the ones I’ve seen. Now, I’m not a big fan of spiders, and they have some pretty deadly ones here in Australia. But I always seem to be the one who has to do the killing. Yes, I DO kill spiders. I tried to kill it, but it crawled down farther down the wall. I ended up having to finish inscrewing the wires, and finally found the spider. I took a broom I had, and I caught the spider in the broom, and then punched the broom. I’m quite the hunter eh?? There were a few little spiders, but nothing drastic.

Quite tired now, on our way to go grocery shopping. I reckon tomorrow we’ll both be a little sore. And I’d bet a few bucks that my partner will not want to go to work tomorrow. We both got a bit banged up today. But hey I got a bit of color on my arms today, and I got to wear shorts…so it was yet another BEAUTIFUL weekend.

-current mood-HAPPY because it's Spring and it FEELS like it.

America's Next Top Model

This post is for October 1st, 2005...blogger.com was down for maintenance.

I’m not a big fan of the fashion world, or modeling world for that matter. I think the industry is pretty rough, and just not something I follow. Aside from that, the idea of wearing make up and getting my picture taken all the time, or having to walk down a runway, wearing something that looks hideous, that just isn’t for me. In my more “feminine” days, people had asked me about modeling, and if I ever thought of the idea. I just laughed in their faces, because 1) I was too darn short, 2) I wasn’t about to lose a heap of weight, I was petite as it was and 3) I don’t think I could handle the stresses and strains of the model industry. I usually thought people were pissing in my pocket when they asked me about modeling. I don’t consider myself model material by any means, and certainly not now.

But last year when Australia’s Next Top Model aired on tv, I found myself watching it every week. There were so many cat fights, and there was one girl, “Sam” who annoyed the living out of me. She tried too hard, and it just wasn’t cute. But nonetheless, I really enjoyed the show. Not long after Australia’s Next Top Model finished airing, the 4th cycle of America’s Next Top Model aired. And I decided to “give it a go.” I knew Tyra Banks was involved in it, and I am a fan of hers. Not because she’s beautiful, but because of how empowering she is. And as “Twiggy” (famous model from the 60’s) recently said, Tyra isn’t small by any means, but she still looks beautiful. BTW, Twiggy is a guest judge I believe for the current cycle. I enjoyed the last cycle that aired. It made me interested in knowing just how the fashion/model industry works. And can I just say, there is A LOT of work that goes into modeling. You see the end result, but never see how much goes into making that end result as perfect as it is. It made me appreciate the fashion model industry, thou I would never put myself into it….even if I got paid heaps of money. Make up and dresses, are just not me .

So the 5th cycle of Australia’s Next Top Model aired here this past Wednesday. And I can say I’m quite excited about this cycle. Just like the last cycle, there is a lesbian. Michelle from the last cycle came out on tv, and is very feminine. The lesbian in the current cycle, Kim, is probably androgynous I’d say. And might I say, she’s quite a looker. “Eye candy” as others would say. We’re a few weeks behind the US episodes, and have heard Kim has already gotten a bit “busy” with a few girls. All the more reason to watch it eh? Nah seriously thou, aside from Kim, there are a few other very attractive women. Some of the girls, I often wondered how they made the cut. They aren’t what I would identify as “conventionally” beautiful, but hey, maybe the next top model won’t be. I kind of got peeved, when some of the potential contestants started crying and getting all emotional when they talked about their reasonings for wanting to be on the show. I understand some people have really survived a lot of strife in their life, but to me, it’s a pity vote. But maybe that shows what sort of person they are, and what type of personality they have. Let’s hope there is a lot of crying and whinging this season .

-current mood-ANNOYED that yesterday I couldn't post