Yasmin's Getting Married

That's the name of a reality tv show that will be airing here in Australia on August 1st. First it was "Rene's Getting Married." But after Rene ended up finding someone, before the taping of the show was to commence, they ended up finding another contestant, hence how Yasmin came into the picture.

Now, from what I can gather, Yasmin is going to have 9 weeks, to find herself a groom. And then she's going to get married on this tv show. 9 weeks, to find herself a life partner. 9 weeks to find herself a man that she will enter the institution of marriage with. 9 weeks to really find that special someone. And then she'll get married......uhhhh, what???

People who have been together 2 years, 10 years, 20 years, but are in same sex relationships can't get married. But yet, this woman, who will go on national television, to make a fool of herself, and supposedly find herself the man she'll walk down the aisle with and say that sacred vows, she's only got 9 weeks. And they're ALLOWING this to happen???

They allow this to happen, but yet when ever a same sex couple brings up the idea of marriage, or even a civil union, the conservative raise their hands and say "what about the sanctity of marriage??" What about "traditional values???" ::shaking head in disgust:: Okay so the show may be funny, but the concept of it, isn't.

There are genuine couples out there, same sex couples who's relationships last longer than those of male/female couples. But yet they can't get married. And whenever same sex marriage is brought up, people ALWAYS bring in the agenda of "well, if same sex couples can get married, why can't I marry my cat?" WHY do people associate same sex marriage, with beasteality (sp). I obviously know why but I don't understand why.

I'm appalled at how many reality tv shows are heterosexually based, but yet same sex marriage is one of thee most controversial topics of our time. Someone is constantly fighting for it, while others are constantly fighting against it. People are so wrapped up in their own ideas, that they're not open to new ones. But yet they'll allow guys and girls, to kiss and canoodle with 10+ people of the opposite sex, in hopes of finding romance. But in truth, how many of those actually last???? I do stand corrected, because a couple of the relationships have lasted, but yet most of them don't.

Same sex marriage (I say this because bisexuals do get married to their same sex partner) is a heated topic, and it's one that I feel quite strongly about. Not necessarily in the sense that I will be first to sign up for a marriage license if it ever becomes legal. But in the sense that we have just as much right to marry who we want, as any one else. I don't expect everyone to agree with same sex marriage, but I do expect people to respect the fact that everyone is to be treated equal. Isn't that what the whole basis of the constitution is?? But then, when it was written, were they REALLY thinking about gay rights??

Darren Hayes

Taken from Darren Hayes' website...

Monday, 17 July 2006

I very rarely make comments about my private life.

But today, as I'm about to begin 6 months in the studio to record what I hope to be the best record of my career, I feel an overwhelming gratitude for the past 10 years of being a performer. Most recently, I've been moving toward a career that is more closely aligned with 'art' than it is 'commerce'. And in keeping on this trajectory - I have become increasingly more emotionally authentic in my music, writing and my relationship to my audience. As so many of you have given me your heart and soul over the past 10 years I thought it only fitting that I too return the respect and inform you of the most significant event in my life.

On June 19th 2006 I married my boyfriend of two years, Richard, in a Civil Partnership ceremony in London.

I can honestly say it was the happiest day of my life.

I feel lucky to live in an era where my relationship can be considered legally legitimate and I commend the UK Government for embracing this very basic Civil Liberty.

I'm proud of who I am, and after what felt like an eternity, I'm finally in a place where my heart is secure and content. And I can finally make sense of all of the searching.

I still maintain the belief that families and relationships are not commodities to be sold off for public consumption.

In this regard, I am and will continue to be a public person with a private life.

I have always written songs about human relationships and our journey in life. I've never felt the need to differentiate or speak to a specific part of society. This hasn't changed. I will continue to write songs for everybody and hope that the feelings and thoughts I sing about are universal.

Today, as I get on a plane to return to London, my head will be filled with all the future possibilities that I hope to explore musically.

To the people who buy my records, come to my shows and demonstrate on a daily basis their love and support for me and what I do: thank you.

Your overwhelming message to me lately seems to be that you are just glad that I am happy. For this, I am eternally grateful.

To my Mum, Dad, Sister and Brother - thanks for always being so cool and loving me unconditionally.

With love and respect always
Darren Hayes

I had my suspicions about him. When my partner and I met him in 2002, my partner swore up and down that he was gay. I was thinking "hmmm, MAYBE???" But my partner's gaydar was going off the charts. Last night, when we heard it on the news headline that he married his boyfriend in London, we couldn't stop laughing.

There is a special place in our hearts for Darren. The Savage Garden song "I Knew I Loved You" is our song. We even have matching tattoos with the Korean symbol for "intuition." Kind of weird, that we had this song, even before we were actually together. Or met in person for that matter. But the song, it just fit us. The love we had for each other back then, was a friendship kind of love. Then of course, it developed into something more.

But BIG congrats to Darren and Richard!!!

Babies all around

Everywhere I turn, someone has had a baby, or will be having a baby. My partner's 2nd cousin had a baby on Thursday, and I found out my cousin is due in February. Ladies at work, they're on maternity leave, or they've come back from maternity leave. I swear, all these babies are around me, and I don't know what to do!!!

I'm not fond of babies myself. I am too afraid to hold them. I feel like they're such little delicate things, and I will drop them. I know I wouldn't, but they're just so fragile and so innocent. I look at newborns and think to myself "self, how amazing it is, on how this baby came about." When you think about it, conception and the cycle of life, itself is completely amazing.

I don't want to have any kids, but sometimes when I see baby pictures, or mothers with babies, I get that yearning feeling. But then I stop and think "I'm going to have to be taking care of them for 18+ years," and then I'm reversed back into reality. I feel selfish in the fact that I don't want to have kids. My partner would love to have a little bub running around. But we have had long talks about this, and came to the conclusion that this wouldn't be happening. I'm just getting well into my career, and we're just getting truly settled into our relationship. Sure we've been together for almost 7 years, but we've only just really begun to settle in our relaitonship. I am focusing on my career, and I know I want to make money, build a house and see what happens then. I really don't find that I have room in my life for kids.

I often wonder if my feelings will change once my sister has kids. Even though I won't be around to watch my niece of nephew grow up...the idea of my sister having a kid, it may make me re-think about kids. Don't think it'll change my mind about having them. But I think I may think differently about them. But I know for the time being, I can only stand being around kids for so long.

Some people just have the niche for parenting, I unfortunately am not one of them. Good thing I know now ey?? ::smirks::

Stress, does it end?

Tomorrow I have a day off, I'm quite excited and relieved about it. But at the same time, I'm completely stressing. Last night, and early this morning, when I awoke from my sleep, the first thing I thought about was "what do I have to do at work?" You know when people send out surveys in emails and the question asks "what is the first thing that comes to mind when you wake up?" Well, that is what mine is..."what do I have to do at work?" I woke up this morning, or close to this afternoon, and I was severely tired. Tired because I was stressed.

It's almost 11pm right now, and I can't sleep. I've got work constantly on my mind, and I don't know how to shut it off. A colleague of mine, on Friday, told me to enjoy my 3 day weekend and not even think about work. I laughed and stated that I would attempt this, but I highly doubted that it would be possible.

I'm the sort of person that stressed out over EVERYTHING. For those who know me, they know this quite well. But when people tell me that I just need to "relax" and go with the flow of things, I can't help but NOT do it. My colleagues, they all tell me that I have to learn to leave work at work. But I feel quite pressured at work, and the stressors, they just intensify as each day goes by.

My job, I'm handling people's finances, I'm taking care of their bills and making sure they have enough. But my decision making may not be the best decision according to my client. But if I have "backup" for why I made a certain decision, then it's justified. But I know I can't make everyone happy, and I have had a few clients yell at me, and complain about me. But I don't feel confident in my decision making. But with this line of work, it's something that will come with time.

I think a part of me is secretly stressing, because the "buddy" that I've been paired up with, she's been absolutely fantastic with me. If I have a question or a concern, she's there to explain it to me, and help me work out the process. But I know in about 4-5 weeks time, she'll be moving to the other building and I won't have that kind of support here at the building I'm at. I've voiced my views about my support, and it's acknowledged, but I'm not sure it's actually going to be available. I understand that other people have their own work load to do. But at the same time, I've been kind of thrown into the deep end, and it's acknowledged this happened. But yet they instill a lot of confidence in me. And I feel like if don't say anything, they'll think I'm handling the situation. But clearly, I'm not.

As I've stated before, there are a lot of changes going on with the restructure of our division, and I'm just wondering if I'm cut out for this job. But it's not like I can just quit and go out and find another job. This job took a bloody long time to find, and that was even with a referral from a friend. She stated that she wouldn't have referred me, if she didn't think I was cut out for the job. And in some aspects I know I'm okay, but in other aspects, I know I have so much to learn. But whether one has been at the job for 5 months or 30 years, there is always something new going on.

I worry about how others think of me and my performance. I worry about the potential and high expectations I put on myself. And even though I know I can only do so much in one day...is it really enough? Is the way I feel, the stress I feel, the fact that every night, before I go to bed, I have knots in my stomach, is that healthy? I know it's not, but what can I do? I've tried talking to my mum about this, and she knows how I stress. And she tries to have me settle down a knotch, but I can't. I keep worrying about how this job affects me, and how it affects how others see me.

I don't think I'd stress out as much if we didn't have the 65 day transfer date, or the other time frames. I know that is what brings structure to a company, but frankly, it's pointless. I know that the company is trying to revamp the CSO standards, and I think it's a good idea. The idea of transferring a file to an ongoing consultant in 65 days, what's the point of that? And truthfully, what will be the point, when eventually, we will be doing our own transfers, to ourselves???

I will attempt to breathe, and to relax. But with the knots in my stomach at the moment, I don't see it as being a possibility