The Story
Watching Grey's Anatomy every Sunday night always gets me in a sad mood. It seems like every time I watch the show, I always end up crying, or at least teary eyed. I remember the season finale for season 2, with Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, I couldn't stop myself from crying. The song got to me, and it aired close to the time where I was going home for the holidays. Nonetheless, I cried and cried, and my partner looked at me and asked "why." Every time I heard the Snow Patrol song, I would end up crying. I can remember being at home, for the holidays, and we were driving home from somewhere, and the song came on. My eyes welled up with tears and this feeling of sadness overcame me. Songs seem to do that quite often.
This weekend the Grey's Anatomy episode ended with Brandi Carlile's song "The Story." I've attached the lyrics, and a link to where you can watch and listen to her video.
But as I was listening to the song, I began thinking about my story and my life. As with any song, I like to think about the lyrics and think about how they have impacted my life in one way or another. Songs bring joy to people's lives, they also bring our lives apart. Songs take us back to a place where we thought we were on top of the world. Songs take us to a place where we felt like the world wasn't a good enough place for us.
When I look in the mirror I see a story unfold. A story that has a lot of regrets and a lot of wishing that things had happened a different way. But regardless of what stories my face tells, it always seemed like there was someone I could tell it to. People in my life at a particular time, I was able to tell stories to them. But there is a lot about myself that my partner doesn't know, that my family and friends don't know. It's not that I keep secrets, but there are just parts of my life that I keep to myself and will probably keep to myself for as long as I be around. But specific moments and specific stories in my life, they make me sad, they make me cry and they make me think about just what sort of person I've become.
Am I proud of who I have become? Am I proud of what I have achieved thus far in my life? There are moments where I'm proud of who I have become and what I have achieved. But then there are times where I feel like I am completely helpless in my current situation. I feel like my insides are twisting, I'm losing my breath, and I can't breathe. But why do I feel this way, when I know very well, there are people in far worse situations than myself. There are people who have far worse stories to reveal but somehow manage to live on.
The song seems to be about all the great things that one has done for the one they love. But I don't feel like I have done great things and especially not for the one I love. I feel like I am still trying to find myself in this world. I have support, but not nearly as much support as I'd like. As much as I try to express my feelings to my partner, she just doesn't get it. My head is truly a mess, and I hide the disaster that is within me quite well. Will I ever reveal what is truly inside of me, or will it always stay within me? Only time will tell that answer.
The Story-Belinda Carlile
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
Yeah you do and I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth
Is hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through but you do
And I was made for you
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
This weekend the Grey's Anatomy episode ended with Brandi Carlile's song "The Story." I've attached the lyrics, and a link to where you can watch and listen to her video.
But as I was listening to the song, I began thinking about my story and my life. As with any song, I like to think about the lyrics and think about how they have impacted my life in one way or another. Songs bring joy to people's lives, they also bring our lives apart. Songs take us back to a place where we thought we were on top of the world. Songs take us to a place where we felt like the world wasn't a good enough place for us.
When I look in the mirror I see a story unfold. A story that has a lot of regrets and a lot of wishing that things had happened a different way. But regardless of what stories my face tells, it always seemed like there was someone I could tell it to. People in my life at a particular time, I was able to tell stories to them. But there is a lot about myself that my partner doesn't know, that my family and friends don't know. It's not that I keep secrets, but there are just parts of my life that I keep to myself and will probably keep to myself for as long as I be around. But specific moments and specific stories in my life, they make me sad, they make me cry and they make me think about just what sort of person I've become.
Am I proud of who I have become? Am I proud of what I have achieved thus far in my life? There are moments where I'm proud of who I have become and what I have achieved. But then there are times where I feel like I am completely helpless in my current situation. I feel like my insides are twisting, I'm losing my breath, and I can't breathe. But why do I feel this way, when I know very well, there are people in far worse situations than myself. There are people who have far worse stories to reveal but somehow manage to live on.
The song seems to be about all the great things that one has done for the one they love. But I don't feel like I have done great things and especially not for the one I love. I feel like I am still trying to find myself in this world. I have support, but not nearly as much support as I'd like. As much as I try to express my feelings to my partner, she just doesn't get it. My head is truly a mess, and I hide the disaster that is within me quite well. Will I ever reveal what is truly inside of me, or will it always stay within me? Only time will tell that answer.
The Story-Belinda Carlile
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
Yeah you do and I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth
Is hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through but you do
And I was made for you
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
posted by Gaylicious© at Wednesday, July 11, 2007
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