Sunday, April 16, 2006

Evaluation on Tuesday

Sooo, Tuesday I have my 5/10 week evaluation at work. I can hardly believe that I’ve been at work for 10 weeks already. The time has just flown by, and I still feel like there is so much to learn. I didn’t really have a formal 4 week evaluation, so I guess I’m having both evaluations at the same time.

I’m a bit nervous, okay I’m really nervous about the evaluation. I’ve never been one to take constructive criticism very well. And this job means SO much to me, in terms of me wanting to keep it. My probation ends 8 May, and I’m just waiting and hoping that everything goes okay. I worried about what others will say about me, in terms of my performance. I know that I’m still learning, but I just wonder if my performance is good enough to stay on the job. I don’t have a case load yet, so I’m just helping out with other people’s case load, while I’m doing my training for due diligence.

I actually have 2 meetings on Tuesday. One is with GT and RC, from the Inner Metro team, who are the team leaders. I guess they’ve been “watching” my performance and have to give me an update of how I’m doing. Then later, I have a meeting with JW and JR. JW has been my training officer since the beginning, and JR has been my training buddy for the due diligence work.

Usually by now, consultants have their own case load, I’m just wondering why I don’t have one yet. Not that I’m complaining, but my training buddy RG doesn’t have a case load either. I know I shouldn’t be stressing out too much, but GT is a bit intimidating to me, and I always feel like I’m stupid when I ask her a question. I don’t think she means to be as direct and short as she is, but I find it hard to ask her questions. And the truth is, I have to go to her, to get more work, when I’ve finished what she’s given me.

I’m hoping everything will fall into place, once I start getting a case load. I know that JR has a new case load (I’m taking over his caseload for due diligence), and that I’ll soon be having his clients. But I still would like to have a little more experience doing the transferring of files, before I actually am left on my own.

We shall see what happens on Tuesday. I just wish that I would have had my evaluation before the long weekend. It would have made me feel better. But I know evaluations are all part of the job, and I can only due my best. But is my best good enough to keep the job???


-current mood-A LITTLE STRESSED about Tuesday.