Will things get better??

Things at the moment are OK..not the greatest, could definitely get better. But I keep trying to tell myself that things will get better. But it's not me, it's my partner. The more I try to talk with her about it, the more she gets distant.

Without getting into too much detail, it just wires down to the fact that my partner's sex drive is just non-existent. I've tried and tried to get her to see someone about it. But she's too embarrassed to admit to someone that she's got no sex drive. I'm not a nymphomaniac, but I do have to have sex. And I don't want to push her into having it...but she just has NO desire. I ask her why and she says "I don't know."

I sent my mum an email today talking to her about it, and I just started crying. I was crying this morning in bed. This issue has been going on for over a year now. And I don't know how much more I can take. There's no point in talking to her about it, because she just laughs it off, like it's okay. She then gets all defensive and says "don't you realize how it affects me?" And I do realize it..but if it's such a problem, why hasn't she gone and asked for help? She uses the excuse that she's never been that sexual of a person. But even if you're not, you should at least try to make an effort. Sex isn't just about sex, it's about cuddling, and kissing and hugging. NONE of that exists in our household. I'm the only one who will kiss her, and come up to her to give her a hug. I'm the only one that says "I love you." I'm SICK SICK SICK of it. One can go w/o sex for so long.

I thought her going to day shift would really make things better for us. But it hasn't. I don't get home till 5:30 some nights, even 7:00 if I'm working till 5:30. I think she gets annoyed that I don't cook. Well, if she wants to have dinner late, I can work. But she hates eating late. I tell her to cook for herself and I'll cook when I get home.

It's like we're just plodding along each day. But there is no spark, no excitement, and truthfully, no love. She says she still loves me. But I often wonder if she does. If this is how she shows people she loves them, well I CAN see why others broke up with her. Our relationship is boring, she's boring. I'm young (well, younger than her) and I still have my whole life ahead of me. I need to have excitement and joy in my relationship. I feel like we're an old couple who are bed-ridden. In this case, house-ridden. I have more fun and excitement at work, than I do at home. And that's a scary thought, being work is so full on and very stressful. But I have more interactions with people at work, than I do at home.

I'm here in a foreign country, have no one to talk to, no peers to bounce things off of...and I feel trapped. I feel like I'm in a small confined space, and I'm screaming. But yet no one is listening. Especially not the person that needs to hear this the most. If I do scream, she only laughs and thinks nothing of it.

How can I make her see that it is an ISSUE, and that she needs to get it fixed YESTERDAY????

US child murder suspect arrested in Thailand

Taken from yahoo.com.au

BANGKOK (AFP) - An American arrested in Thailand over the murder of child "beauty queen" JonBenet Ramsey has said her death was accidental and told police he loved the six-year-old girl.

The arrest of John Mark Karr in Bangkok on Wednesday was a surprise breakthrough in the lurid case of JonBenet, who was found beaten and strangled to death in her family's Colorado house the day after Christmas in 1996.

The case captivated the United States and put the spotlight on the phenomenon of child beauty pageants, where the young blonde was videotaped in lipstick, jewelry and gowns, pouting seductively for the cameras.

The head of Thai immigration police, Lieutenant General Suwat Thamrongsrisakul, said that Karr had confessed to the killing but indicated that it was unintentional.

"He said he was in love with the girl, and on the day the incident happened, he went to see the girl at her house. The two of them went into the basement, which is where he said he accidentally killed her," Suwat told reporters.

In a brief appearance before reporters, the 41-year-old Karr was asked if he killed the child and said: "No, I did not. It was an accident."

Thai police working with US law enforcement officials arrested Mark after an arrest warrant was issued in the United States on charges of murder, kidnapping, and sexual assault on a child.
Ann Hurst, an attache for the US Department of Homeland Security, told a press conference here that Karr would be returned to the United States within the week.

US authorities have been working with Thai police for about two months to track down Karr, she said, adding that he could be linked to another crime in California.

The murder, unsolved for nearly a decade, became the subject of books and a television movie, and drew attention to the phenomenon of child beauty pageants.

For months, newscasts broadcast footage of the cherubic blonde prancing about in a revealing Las Vegas showgirl outfit or pouting at the camera mimicking a seductive adult.

Critics of the pageants said some of the pictures risked crossing the line into child pornography -- which has been a regular problem in Thailand, where Karr was taken into custody.

At the time of the killing, suspicion fell on her wealthy parents, who resisted police attempts to interview them for months and hired an army of publicists and private detectives to defend themselves in the media.

Her father John Ramsey told US television network ABC that he was relieved at news of the arrest but that he had never heard of Karr.

"Well, it's certainly a day we have been waiting for for 10 years. I hope this is a first major step in really drawing this to a conclusion, but it also opens up old wounds, and that's painful," he said.

Ramsey said he had been made aware in the past two weeks that Karr was a suspect under surveillance, but that he was not sure he had ever met him before.

"We don't know certainly that with 100 percent certainty that this is the guy," he said.
JonBenet's parents always maintained that an intruder had broken into their home and killed her. Her mother Patsy Ramsey died of cancer in June.

She had called the police on December 26, 1996, to report her daughter missing and said that she had found a ransom note demanding 118,000 dollars.

Police searched the house inconclusively, then asked the father to check it again.
Ramsey and a neighbor found JonBenet's body in the basement storeroom.

Developments in the case unfolded in the public eye, and left Americans sharply divided as to who was to blame.

Some believed one of her parents was guilty but that police had given them special treatment because of their wealth. Others sided with the family, who always argued that the police failed to consider other scenarios.

I sooo remember when this happened. I remember reading the book, watching the movie, reading the newspapers. It was such a eerie feeling when I read about this case. And now 10 years later, the case has been solved..or at least someone has been arrested.

I've been facinated with true crime and forensics..and to have a case go unsolved for 10 years, and then have this come up, I can't imagine how much work has gone into this case. You'd think that after 10 years, or even less, that people wouldn't still be investigating the case. I know it's a cold case, and people still do investigate them, but makes me wonder what motivated people to end up with the leads they did get. And then of course, which ultimately led them to Thailand. Hmm, makes me wonder what the guy was charged for in Thailand.

Spring is Near

I can tell that spring will soon be approaching. Aside from the sun beaming ino this room, the weather is absolutely wonderful. People are mowing their lawns, and you can smell the aroma of a bbq permeating. But to top it off....you know spring is approaching, when you get your first FLY in the house.

I was busy putting the clothes away, and heard this buzzing noise. Lo and behold, a damn fly was buzzing around in the bedroom. I was outside earlier reading the newspaper, but left the door open. The fly must have gotten in that way.

It's been nice not having bugs around the house. Flies and bugs buzzing around the house, it irks me. The warmer days and leaving the doors open will also invite the Huntsman spiders. My partner FREAKS when she sees them. They're like the size of a quarter, and she always makes me kill them.

I can't hear the fly buzzing around at the moment..so let's hope they realized they were an uninvited guest, and fly away.