Phone Calls

Earlier today, I called my mother. My grampa isn't doing too well, and is only expected to live till Monday. (Isn't it creepy to know what people can give you a ballpark figure of when you'll die?) My mum is pretty distraught, but she seemed like she was handling things well on the phone.
I don't mind calling my parents and family. But I got a bit peeved, when my mum said that she'd "email me" when my grandfather passes away. Now, to me, that's a bit impersonal. But I know that my family won't call me. I've been here in Australia for about 20 months now. And I've been here previously numerous times. All of these times, not once has my family, or ANYONE at that, called me.
Is it really that hard to make an international call? All you do is dial 011+61+my state code+my phone number. I don't find that to be too difficult. You don't have to have international calls subscribed on your phone line. It's a heck of a lot cheaper buying a calling card and using it. When my partner and I were separated due to distance, we both called each other quite often. And it was a breeze to get through the dialing.
I don't know really how to approach my family on this topic. I've given them my number, I've given them directions on how to dial out, but yet nothing has been done. Is it rude of me to ask them to contact me? I don't think it's much to ask. And I've been quiet about it for ohhh, quite a while. My partner thinks it's quite time that I said something.

When Personality Affects Team Dynamics

A friend of mine, where I work, is very quiet. I've known her for almost 4 months now. And Gab is a very lovely person. She's very quiet, and usually when she talks to me, I have to strain my ears to hear her. But she's funny, and always makes me laugh. Without fail, when ever I have a conversation, I'll laugh at least once while talking with her.

She started the job back in November, but because of a few issues, she actually finished the training a little later than I did. As part of the training process, you're on the 5th floor for quite some time. Because our office currently is going through some major restructures, there is not enough room for everyone. So Gab has been one of the people who has stayed on the 5th floor, along with the other newbies. Gab has been doing a caseload of 20 clients for the past few months for this particular team. She's been doing her job, and as part of her personality, she tends to keep to herself a lot. But she still manages to do everything she's supposed to.

I recently found out (by her) that she's actually been placed in another team, and one of the other new consultants is taking her place in the team she was in. But Gab isn't doing what a normal consultant would be doing. Instead, she's doing assistant work. Don't get me wrong, assistants do A LOT of stuff, but Gab didn't get hired to be an assistant. But the reason why she's been placed in another team, is because there was "talk" from other team members, that maybe there was a difference in "personalities" which would not be a good fit for the team as a whole.

When Gab found this out by our training officer, she broke down and cried. And she's very upset. I understand her being upset, and I know I would be too. If I was a part of a team, for a period of time, and was told that because I wasn't as "vocal" as the other team members, that I was going to be yanked out of that team and put into another one, I'd be somewhat offended. Offended that no one had talked to me prior to making this decision.

Since Gab has found this out, about her moving to another team, she's been ill quite a few days. And I've heard from another colleague who is also a friend, that she's been looking at the newspaper for other jobs. I couldn't help but shake my head, when I heard this. Only because Gab is a wonderful person, and she knows what she's doing. I feel bad for her, that this has happened to her.

All of this brings me to the question of...was it right for Gab to be moved into another team, and doing another role than what she was hired for, all because she's more quiet than others? I understand that different personalities can cause a lot of tension between people. But why are people so quick to make changes, without giving the current chance a go? I say this because Gab hasn't been down with the team she was assigned to and helping out with. There wern't enough desks to fit her. That is because I had to move to the building from a different building. I was given a caseload, thrown in the deep end...and I needed as much support as I could get. But there was some desk hopping, and I managed to find a permanent place. But that meant Gab couldn't actually sit with her team. But Gab was fine with that. But when she was ready to move down stairs, that's when she was told she was going to a different team.

I know not everyone can get along with each other, and it isn't expected. But I guess I just wish management would have given her a chance to "prove herself" before yanking her out of the game. I just hope this move doesn't cost me losing a great friend. But then again, it's the company's loss. But for me, it's a even bigger loss. So crossing my fingers, that Gab decides to stick it out and see how things go.

Winter is approaching

I can tell that Winter is soon approaching. I went out to my car this morning and there was a layer of ice on the front windshield and the rear window. Unfortunately for me, I didn't have an ice scraper. So I quickly put on the defroster, and with my gloves on, I scraped away enough "space" for me to see. But I though to myself "self, it's Winter." For a brief moment, I felt like I was back home on Oregon.

Why do we avoid helping??

Man arrested over Zhang murderBy 7News (thanks to http://au.news.yahoo.com/060522/23/z2hb.html )

Police have arrested a 24-year-old man following the discovery of missing Melbourne woman Juan Zhang's body.
Caulfield North man, Yiwen Pan, is expected to appear in Melbourne Magistrates court today charged with Ms Zhang's murder.
The 35 year-old's body was found in the boot of her own car, which had been missing since her disappearance, in the city's south east early this morning.
Ms Zhang was last seen leaving her workplace with a large sum of money in West Melbourne five days ago.
Eight witnesses heard a woman's screams at the time of her disappearance, but none called police.
On Sunday, Homicide Squad Detective Senior Sergeant Ron Iddles said a pool of blood, human hair and spectacles found at the scene the day after Mz Zhang's disappearance suggested she was probably dead.

Why do we avoid helping people? This story has me baffled on so many levels. But it was stated that 8 people heard these woman's screams, and heard her arguing with someone for 4 minutes..but yet no one called police. Why is that? Are people afraid of getting involved? Are people thinking "someone else must have rang by now, so I don't need to?" So what if someone already has, the police can state "we've already got a call on this case." What harm can be done, if more than one person were to call the police?

I understand that people don't want to get involved because it isn't their business. And in this day and age, you don't want to be somewhere at the wrong time. Your own safety is important, but at the same time...you risking just a little bit of your time, could save someone's life.

This story ended in tragedy, when in fact, something could have been done. People shouldn't be feeling guilty over not calling, but I know for me, it makes me think of whether I'd help. I think had I heard screams and arguing, I would have been a bit freaked out. But I probably would have gone to a nearby store or business, and reported to them what was going on, in hopes that someone would call the police. I don't think I would have wanted to be the one reporting to the police. But at 6:00, what businesses are open?

Watching the murdered woman's finance plead on tv, was as heartwretching as can be. I can NOT imagine what he must be going through right now. But it's believed that this woman died the day she disappeared, so she had no chance. But situations like this, really make you wonder just how far you'd go to help someone, or how far you'd go to avoid a situation.

7 Year Slump

I am SOOOO F*CKING spewing right now!!! I had written this long post, and I accidently typed hit "ctrl + V" instead of "ctrl + C" and lost my whole post. ::shaking head:: And there is no way to "undue" when it comes to using internet explorer. I could bang my head on the computer monitor.

Baaack to my pst. My partner and I were talking this weekend, as we usually do. But I brought up the topic of a 7 year slump up with her. I asked her if she thought we'd go through one, or whether we're in one now. She thinks we're sort of in one now, and laughed, and said "hopefully at 7 years, we'll be okay." Not that we're NOT okay now. But we both know we've been in a slump for about 5-6 months.

My partner and I have been together for almost 6.5 years. But the first 4.5 years of our relationship, we were living thousands of miles away, and were only able to see each other every 6-7 months. Sometimes we'd get to see each other 4 months apart, other times, we'd not see each other for 8 months. There were some trying times, and many moments where we didn't know what the future held for us. But we stuck it out, and were able to get through it.

Even when we were finally able to be "together" we still have issues. We were able to be together, but had to overcome the immigration hurdle. So if it wasn't one thing, it was another thing. It seemed like when we overcame one obstacle, something else would come in our path and set us back again.

Just recently, probably about 3 weeks ago, our life finally turned "normal." We're both working full time, on the same shift...and we're able to actually see each other for more than 5 minutes. It's been great, but at the same time, things haven't changed. Not to get too personal, but we haven't been intimate for the past 3 months, almost 4 months. That's HORRIBLE...in my opinion at least. To my partner, she could care less. She "drive" is pretty much non existent. Maybe it's because she's got self esteem issues, maybe it's because she's turning 40. But man, SOMETHING has gotta change. I've tried and tried to talk to her, but nothing is ever done. And I try to be considerate to her feelings, but yet she does nothing about it. She's too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it.

Which brings me to a question...could you stay with someone who didn't want to be intimate? And who made no desire to change? I struggle every day with this thought..only for the simple fact, that I'm a human, I need to feel desired and cherished. I need to feel intimacy, whether it's a hug or a kiss, or something else. But I don't get any of that, not even when we're saying goodbye in the morning.

People may think that this slump should be ringing warning bells..that maybe my partner is cheating on me. But she's got NO sexual desires...NONE. I know that there aren't any desires for me, or anyone else. So that's not what worries me. What worries me, is that this is going to keep on going, and I'm going to shrivel up to a raisin ::laughing lightly:: No seriously, I'm 27, I'm yet to hit my prime...so why do I feel like I'm hitting menoapause??

For other long term relationship couples..have you found you and your partner in a slump? If so, how did you manage, did you two survive? I wouldn't break up with my partner over the lack of intimacy...but it really puts a dampen on the relationship. I just wish I had what it took, to get my partner out of this FUNK.

I'm Coming Home

Yesterday my partner and I booked our flights. Last week, I was able to get 16 days off of work, during the Christmas holiday season. We'll be leaving the 15th of December, and returning home the 4th of January.

We were planning on booking the tickets next weekend, as we've got bills up to the wazoo. But before we went to the Queen Victorian Market, we decided to stop by and see what the prices would be. We already knew it'd be around $3000 each. I tried calling Flight Centre, but the jerk of a guy, Paul (I don't mind saying his name, not that he'd ever read this..lol) said he was with a customer and wanted to know if he could call me back. I said sure, but 2 weeks later, he hasn't called me back.

So we decided to go to another travel agent, one we knew was reliable. We got there about 11:45, and didn't actually start talking to the travel agent till at least 12:30. The couple before us, were having so many issues with their flight. They wanted to go to Singapore, and Dubua, and needed to be in the UK by such and such date, and I was about ready to pull out my hair!!!
But of course, I was a patient little lad ::smirks:: and just held my tongue. We ended up booking our flight and putting $1000 each as a down payment. I think we have to have paid it off within 24 hours, but there is a way to get around it. The travel agent, when we put more money down, will have to cancel the flight, and rebook it. But charges could go up, depending on how much tax the airlines wants to charge us. But for the moment, we have to pay an even $3000 each.
This of course, doesn't include spending money. But the nice thing is, is we'll have free lodging. But transportation is going to be an issue, as my parents finally sold my useless vehicle. But the dollar is doing quite well at the moment for us. So if things kep going like this, we won't have to take as much Australian money for US money.

So yes, folks, I'm coming home. It's been almost 2 years and I'm soooo ready. I can't wait to have a spinach salad with ranch dressing. I can't wait to eat at Bings, and Xtapa Mexican Restraurant. I can't wait to just be on home soil. And of course, if I catch up with some people, that'll be even better too ::snickers:: It's been a bit difficult trying to stay in contact (not pointing any fingers), but people know when I'll be returning. If they want to meet up, the ball is in your side of the fence now...lol.