End of September already

I can hardly believe a month has already gone by. It’s October tomorrow, and it rarely feels like it. I can tell that the seasons are changing thou, because I went to K-Mart earlier this week, and they had stocking stuffers already on display. Now, some may wonder why Christmas items are already out for sale. But here in Australia, they don’t seem to wait for anything, they just assume “okay almost October, we need to start getting Christmas stuff out.” Another factor, is that back in the states, Halloween and Thanksgiving are two holidays that happen before Christmas. Halloween happens here in Australia, but it’s definitely not hyped up. Plus, the jack-o-lanterns, they don’t exist here really in Australia either. So for me, Halloween has truly sucked.

I always loved getting ready for Thanksgiving, because after that, that’s when I truly knew that the Christmas holiday season was approaching. Aside from the cold nights, and getting dark extremely early, I could just get that feeling that the holidays were here. A time of joy and happiness and a time to be around those we love. But honestly, since coming being with my partner (no disrespect to her or Australia..lol) the holidays have just been so “blah.” I’m used to having hot cocoa and snuggling up next to a fire as we’re trimming the Christmas tree. Wearing shorts and a tank top and drinking cordial just doesn’t put me in the spirit of things. I’m used to it being bloody cold outside, where I have to wear a hat and a scarf to get the mail. Having barbeques and drinking a coldie, just doesn’t seem right

But tomorrow is the beginning of October, and then it’s November, and then it’s December. (Doi, aside from reciting the rest of the months in the year, I DO have a point ) This year has gone by so fast, and I ask myself, do I have anything to show for it? Hopefully soon I will…but I was hoping by Christmas time I’d be working. I’m hoping I’ll still be able to, but I’ve been out of work since January, and my body and mind is telling me it needs some educational stimulation. Well, maybe just some stimulation in itself. I’ve enjoyed my months off, but it’s high time I got back into the swing of things. I know I’ll be regretting those words, but I’m ready to go back to work. It’s going to be stressful looking for work, and then getting everything ready (a car, or somehow finding a way to get to work, where ever I will be) but in the end, I know I’ll enjoy it. It’ll be nice (especially for my partner) to have two incomes coming in. We’ve survived on one, but having two, we’ll be laughing. And we’ll be able to really “feel” what it feels like to be a couple, without the worrying of immigration, or knowing I have to eventually go home. Once this temporary residency goes thru, I’m pretty much a shoo in for getting the permanent residency in 2 years time. But it’ll be nice to come home and realize that we’re now finally, after 6 years, able to live like we have always wanted.

-current mood-EXHAUSTED

Sharks, should they be hunted?

Tonight on tv, there is a special on shark attacks. Australia is very reknowned for their shark attacks and I think recently there have been a number of reported shark attacks. I myself have never been face to face with one, nor do I ever want to be. I can’t even begin to imagine how dreadfully scary it would be to be at the hands of one. They’re deadly creatures, but yet so beautiful.

One of the main topics of tonight’s tv show is whether sharks should be hunted. Should people be allowed to kill sharks, to hopefully keep down the population? I really don’t have a reaction to this topic. It interests me, because sharks are animals, they need food. I’m not saying that human life should be part of the food chain, but what research has been done to prevent sharks from coming close to shore? Most people who are attacked by sharks are surfers. But how far out do surfers go? Isn’t it the surfer’s choice whether to go out in waters that may have sharks? I am sure people know where sharks congregate. And isn’t it an off chance that someone will be attacked by a shark?

Is killing off the shark population really the answer? If we kill off sharks, what will happen to their bodies? Are people just interested in the idea that IF a shark is to cause danger that it’s OKAY to kill them? Just how many sharks are people wanting to kill? Will it prevent people from getting attacked? I really don’t think. I don’t have a concrete resolution, but sharks will one day be extinct. I don’t believe that sharks reproduce enough to keep the line of life going on for a long period of time. And what if sharks do become extinct? Are sharks beneficial to the underwater life? Aside from being really dangerous, are there some positive aspects to sharks being around? I jus don’t think that killing the sharks off is going to resolve the issue. I really don’t know if anything will.

People need to just be more cautious, and that’s about it. There isn’t anything that one can do to prevent a shark from attacking them. So killing them off, I just don’t see it as being beneficial. Maybe I’m not seeing something others are? Maybe because I don’t surf, or I don’t know in waters that are known to have sharks, I don’t know what it feels like to be attacked, or even the threat of an attack. But I still don’t think there is any economic benefit to hunting sharks.

-current mood-HUNGRY for dinner

Affirmations, do they really work?

Throughout the duration of my life, when ever I've taken a "self-help" class or a type of training, affirmations seemed to be part of the curriculum. And every time we had to do exercises pertaining to them, I always found it difficult to believe that this would help me. Affirmations are supposed to be positive thoughts, and if we say them enough times, they are supposed to get our mind into thinking positively. But do they really work? Do they really result in positive endings?

When ever I am stressing, or really stressed out, I write affirmations on my little chalk board. It may sound a bit loopy, but it's something I do and it helps relieve my stress. Even if it's for a brief moment. The moments I'm sitting there and writing these affirmations down, as well as saying theout loudoutloud, mydoesn'tt doesn't seem to beat as fast, and I don't seem to feel as anxious. People can remember writing on the chalkboard, or on paper when ever they were naughty. As if writing "I will not swear in class" is a positive re-enforcement, and that writing it 100 times is going to NOT make someone swear in class. But for me, writing IS a positive thing.

Since last Tuesday I've been writing affirmations on the chalkboard every night. Affirmations that relate to my current mood, and current situation. Before, when I was stressing about going to New Zealand, and wondering whether I'd get the extension, I wrote affirmations. When I was stressing out about paperwork, I'd write an affirmation on the chalkboard. These affirmations got me thru the situations at present. And I'm certainly hoping and praying that the affirmations that I have been writing "Together we'll beat DIMIA," "The future is ours," or "God is on our side..." that someone will be listening and will help make our affirmations comes true. I don't believe that actually writing the affirmation is what makes a positive outcome, but the positive energy that I'm putting into the writing. The positive energy that I'm displaying, instead of being negative, THAT is what is going to get me thru anything and everything. Some may call it supersticious but I just call it positive thinking.

-current mood-STRESSED

Charlie's first cat fight

My partner and I keep our kitty indoors. Even thou she was raised outside, she’s pretty much lived inside since my partner brought her home. Lately, we’ve been allowing her to go outside because the weather has been great. Usually we leave the back screen door open, and just let her have her fun outside. My partner and I were in the lounge, and all of a sudden, we heard a bunch of cat screaming noises. We rushed to the backyard, and my partner was able to get there before me. She scrammed the kitty away, but Charlie flew past her and to another part of the backyard. We tried to coax her to coming toward us, but she just ran. Luckily she ran straight thru the doors and back into the house. Charlie was pretty shaken for awhile. She wouldn’t go near us, and when we’d try to calm her down she’d only hiss at us. Charlie is a long haired kitty, so the cat fight she was in, she had some of her hair coming out of her leg area. She didn’t look like she had any cuts, but I think she was pretty scared about what had happened.

Charlie always meows at other cats thru the window, but she’s never been face to face with one. Earlier this week, there was a cat in the back yard, but Charlie didn’t see her. We have a lot of cats in our neighborhood. I think the new people who moved in next door to us have 2 cats. My partner went outside afterward, and there were two cats in the back corner area. She wasn’t very happy and she scared them away. She was pretty worried that something had happened to Charlie. But I think Charlie is okay now. She went back outside, but we sat out there with her, to make sure no more cats came around.

But with what happened, my partner is hesitant about buying another cat. When I moved here, I left my kitty Toby back in the states. I told my partner that as much as I loved Charlie, I wanted to have a cat of my own. She said that once I was made a resident, we’d look for another kitty, just because she didn’t want to be left to raise 2 cats if I had to go back to the states. But now we’re both not sure how Charlie will react if a kitten is brought home.

I remember when Toby was brought home, Buttons the other cat stayed clear away from Toby. Toby wanted to play, but Buttons wouldn’t have anything to do with Toby. But Toby gets along great with other dogs, and it turned out okay. But I don’t know if Charlie will attack the new kitten, or what will happen. We don’t have a big space, there’s plenty of room, but I just don’t know how Charlie will react. I wonder if there is anything we as parents can do, to help prepare Charlie for the new arrival, when it does happen. I’m sure they’ll hiss at each other, but I hope that they’ll learn to get along.

-current mood-ANTSY

QAF Season 5

Just a very very short entry tonight. Queer as Folk season 5 finally starts tonight on SBS. I’m excited, even thou the series is over in the states. Makes me wonder why they decided to end it when they did. Maybe because Justin’s character left the show, or was leaving the show? I remember hearing last year that he “Randy” was leaving the show. What are all the gay boys and their fag hags going to be watching now?? They can’t really watch The L Word because there aren’t too many guys in the show. Well, then again, I haven’t seen season 2 yet. NO SPOILERS please. I’m waiting very patiently for channel 7 to figure out just when they’re going to air it. I was told August 2005, but it’s way past then. Then I heard “soon” but soon isn’t there yet, is it? I guess if all else fails, I’ll buy it when I go home next summer. Or maybe Santa will send it to me for Christmas this year.

I find it interesting, that I don’t care much for guys, but I love watching Queer as folk. Yeh there is some lesbian action in the show, but the show IS about gay men. But I love watching the show. The seasons have steamed down a bit since the beginning, but nonetheless, it’s an all around good show to watch. And it’s pretty popular here in Australia. Pity the SBS channel or anyone else for that matter can’t get their butts in gear to get it here in Australia for sale. The L Word is for sale, so why wasn’t Queer as Folk ever given rights to be sold here in Australia? Dunno, but the company is missing out on a lot of sales, that’s for sure.

-current mood-EXCITED FOR QAF.

Night with Friends

Last night, my partner and I went to a friend’s house for dinner. This friend is someone who works with my partner, and his partner (yes male) is from Canada. They’re going thru the same immigration process as us, but fortunately for them, they have an interview the middle of October. But we went to their house for dinner, along with another co-worker of my partners, as well as 4 other people.

Dinner was absolutely gorgeous, this boy can really cook. But we ended up staying till 1 in the morning just talking and BS’in about anything and everything. On the drive home, I got thinking about how nice it is to be around other gay people. We’re able to talk about things with openness, and not wonder if we’re going to offend anyone. Thou of course, one of the guys that was there last night, sure had a mouth on him. But he was bloody funny. He’s your stereotypical flamin’ gay guy. But he sure knows how to have a good laugh. My partner couldn’t stop laughing at this guy. Every time he’d open his mouth to tell a story, my partner would be in fits of laughter. He’s the sort of guy that is able to “bounce” things off of my partner. They were both giving each other a hard time about everything.

My partner and I don’t have a lot of friends amongst us, but it’s more because we’re both pretty quiet people. But being able to go out last night, have a laugh, a drink or two, it relaxed me a little bit. Even thou I haven’t been eating propery, because I’m too stressed out, last night’s dinner was fantastic. It has been awhile since we’ve been out with friends like that, and I look forward to doing it again. Just being around these people I felt comfortable with, it made me want to be allowed to stay here in Australia all the more. These kinds of people are people you want to remain life long friends with.

One thing I really enjoyed about the company last night was the fact that they were not into the drama of gay life. They do go to clubs and bars once in awhile. But they’re there to have a drink and a good time. Not to see who’s sleeping with who and finding ways to stab people in the back. My partner and I are both NOT into that sort of stuff, and it’s nice to find other couples who aren’t either. Even thou one guy was “flirting” with another, it wasn’t threatening, it was more funny, and probably the alcohol talking. But it was nice to surround ourselves around couples who enjoy being monagmous and commited to each other, not those who are deeply involved in the “stereotypical” drama filled life.

-current mood-ENERGIZED