Perspective of age

As my birthday approaches (no this isn't my plug to advertise my upcoming birthday) I can't help but think about my age, and more importantly, how things have changed in the last 10 years. I say the last 10 years, because my 10 year class reunion will be coming up this upcoming summer. Unfortunately I will not be attending this joyous occassion ::smirks) but the more people I find on myspace, the more I think about everyone I grew up with, and just how different we all have become.

I look at myself, my age, and how I have progressed thus far in life. I think about how my sister has progressed, and my co-workers. I look at myself, being almost 28, and I think I haven't got anything to speak for. I am not some world famous person, nor do I believe I have made any impact in anyone's life. Of course, people who know me, may raise their hand in protest. But I haven't made a mark in this world yet. I'm almost 28, and even though I finished high school, and have a basic 4 year university degree, do I have anything to show for it? I haven't bought my first new car (many people my age may have at this time. I haven't bought a new house. I don't have kids. And truthfully, I wouldn't say I have a successful career.

I feel like I'm barely getting my life together. I still feel naive in a lot of ways, and feel very sheltered. As for why, ::shrugs shoulders:: I can't give a definite reason as to why I believe this. I wouldn't identify myself as immature, I do believe I've always been mature for my age. Maybe it's why I've always gotten along better with older women. My partner is considerably older, and I get along great with her family. But at times, I feel so unproductive.

I think back, to when I was 17, and fell in love with a woman. She was 25, and I thought she was the best thing in the world. When I think about how naive and immature I was, I think about how I looked up to her, and thought "wow, 25, she's so old and has it so together." When I was 25, I was nothing like her, in terms of being "together." At almost 28, I still don't think I have it together. I honestly don't know when that light will come on in my head and I'll realize "I'm together."

If I feel this way at 28, how much longer will I feel this way? Do I feel this way, because I'm always secretly comparing myself to the rest of the world? I know I shouldn't compare...but pressures in my own life (past and present) I feel like I have something to prove. Even though I feel this way, I'm happy with my life. But I also feel like there's something missing in it. I know I have to stop comparing myself to others, and realize that I am my own person. I DO know I am my own person, but I always feel like I should be someone else. Or like someone else.

Age is a funny thing, and the older I get, the more I feel like I'm losing control of my life.

Public Transportation

As someone who doesn't like to drive in a city with 1) the population of over 3 million people 2) the drivers side on the right side of the car and 3) driving on the left side of the road.....I try to avoid driving if I can. I rarely ever drive. Even back at home, I wasn't a big fan of driving in Portland. Portland is a BABY town in comparison to Melbourne.

But since moving to Australia, and working in the actual CBD (Central Business District) I see the traffic and the people, and my head goes into a frenzy. I know I'm a good driver (knock on wood, and brushing the memory of my first accident I had back in 1997), but it's not necessarily me I'm worried about but all the other people. There are people coming and going, pushing their way in and honking and not caring for the world who they piss off.

Lucky for me, my job doesn't entail me to drive. Well, not yet at least. This time next year, I'll be driving 4-5 hours sometimes to see clients. Not looking forward to it, but with my satellite navigation system, I am bound to NOT get lost. ::snickers:: Knowing me, I'll certainly find a way to get lost. But I enjoy not driving if I don't have to. I drive to the train station, that's 20 minutes away, and that's fine and dandy for me.

But there is the downside to taking public transportation. My train ride into the city is about 45 minutes. Going to work in the morning isn't a problem. Though parking lately has become a bit of an issue, because they've shut down one major parking venue to be re-modelled. My train stop is the first station on the line, so I'm always getting a seat. But even though we're the first stop on the line, people still push and shove to get a seat.

Coming home, is a complete nightmare. For instance, tonight, someone tragically got hit by a train on our line (before I went home) and so all trains on my line, were cancelled. I had to take ANOTHER line, and had to get dropped off at a train station there. THEN, there was a supposed bus that was to take us to another train station, which would then let us get on the train to head back to my train station.

I get on the train, and there are tons of people already on. I walk further toward the middle, because I know more and more people are going to be getting on. We get a few stations down the line, and people start yelling at others to move down the line. But we can't, because it's already packed. Aside from the original commuters, there had to be extra room made for the commuters who couldn't get on the other train line. It was stuffy (hottest day in October since 1914...got up to 97F) and people were being really cranky.

I get off on the train station that is to connect me to my bus. No way was I going to get on a bus. There were TONS of people waiting to get out of the train station, and then ONTO the bus. 3 buses went by but I knew there was no way I'd be able to get on. People were complaining, pushing, yelling, it was a mad house.

I decided to call my partner, and have her come pick me up. It would take her 30 minutes to get to where I was, but I wasn't about to try and get on this bus. Not with the way things were going. I ended up calling her, but my phone was making noises that the battery was running down. I started to panic, but knew that most likely my phone wouldn't die on me, as it has a long battery life, even when it says "low battery."

Waiting for someone to pick you up, in a suburb that you're unfamiliar with...it can be a bit scary. Not to mention, people starting at you, and it getting darker and darker outside. I wasn't a happy camper, but kept my cool. Though it was still 86F out, at 6:00pm.

We made it home safely, but I'm secretly cursing. I wish I had more confidence in driving, but at the same time, public transportation is usually pretty reliable.

Melbourne is a pretty big city, and our public transportation system is shocking. I hear about how the well the transportation systems run in Japan and even in European countries, and I secretly hope and wish that Australia will get with the times.

Melbourne will be laying out a new ticket system next year, and I'm not looking forward to it. I'm happy with the way things are running now (to a certain extent) and I know that when something new is introduced, it's going to cause chaos. And are the enforcement officers going to give any leniency, probably not.

Gotta love them cats

My aunt sent me the following video link of some silly cats. Just copy and paste the url, if you can't go directly the link while clicking it.

I couldn't help but laugh at some of the videos. The one part, where the woman is pretending to be a boxer with the cat who is on it's hind legs, I can't help but laugh. That exact video reminds me of how Charlie (my partner's cat) and I play.

And the video with the cats chasing the reflection on the wall, Charlie LOVES the laser light. She goes mad, and has every one in hysterics.

I hope this video brings some laughter into your life..even for a brief moment :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuXJqqfemXA