"Grant me the serenity...
----to change the things I can, the courage to accept the things I can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference.
No, I haven’t just gone to an AA or NA meeting. I was talking with a bunch of gals in some of the groups I’m in. I asked how does one deal with stress. For the most part, I’ve gotten great responses. One person told me that “stress came in different degrees, end of story.” Ummm, yeh I wasn’t born yesterday I think I know that. Her post wasn’t very helpful in the slightest, how ever many other great women gave me some great insight and great ideas on how to cope with stress.
Even before someone suggested the “serenity prayer” I had thought about it, and said it to myself last night. But I didn’t say it right ::snickers:: But this prayer holds true to my situation. I have to tell myself that I can change some things, but some things I just can’t change. And I have to learn to decipher between the two. Because if I don’t, and can’t, I’m going to have a lot more stress episodes than I’d like to have. But the thing is, this is who I am. All my life, I have stressed about so many things, big and small, but everything seems to have worked out. So why should this situation be any different? I feel like it’s different, because so much is at stake. It’s not just knowing what grade I’m going to get in class, or anything like that. No, this is far more serious, and if it doesn’t work out, how will I cope then? I’ve waited 6 years to finally be able to live with my partner permanently, and we were so close to having it happen. But now this situation has come up, and I have no idea of the outcome.
I have to keep telling myself not to rush things, that I can’t rush things. I know I want to find out our application status, and I want to get a letter from DIMIA. But I can’t make the letter come any faster than it is supposed to. DIMIA is hopefully doing their job, investigating what happened, and will soon realize it was a genuine mistake, on many parts..and will then send us a letter to have an interview. But waiting and waiting to find out if we get a letter, it’s nervewracking. Every morning I wake up and rush out to check the mail. And every morning I’ve come up empty handed. Maybe it’s a good thing that it’s taking awhile, because that means DIMIA is doing their job, and hopefully a thorough job. But let’s just hope they’re not prolonging the inevitable.
The more I think about it, and the more I talk to people, the more everyone is telling me everything will work out. Everyone I’ve talked to have told me not to stress, and that everything will be okay. My partner doesn’t think we’ll have any problems, my parents don’t, my sister doesn’t…the friend of my mum in laws, said not to stress. I have to keep positive thoughts that everything will fall into place. Everyone is cheering us on, whether they know us or not, and that gives me so much hope.
All of this nightmare brings me back to Border Security, an Aussie show that goes behind the scenes of what happens at immigration and customs at the airport, and on Australian borders. There have been 2 seasons of this show, and I’ve watched every single episode. I was interested in watching the show, to see if there was anything related to our case that I had to be aware of. Most of the offenses were drug related, or trying to bring in items that were not declared. But there were some immigration hold ups. One lady in particular….she was from the UK, her partner was from Australia. She stayed here for a certain period of time, but she overstayed her visa by 4 months. I don’t know if she knowingly did (I believe she did). She hired a migration agent and they told her to go to NZ, and come back…and that she’d not have any problems. She did just that, but when she came back, the Australian immigration people pulled her aside. She ended up having her visa cancelled, and was deported back to the UK, w/o any goodbyes or anything. She went back home, appealed the 3 year expulsion, and was able to come back to Australia. The couple is now married. SO in that case, everything worked out for them.
I wonder, because I was here unlawfully for over 60 days, it’ll now be on my record and if I’ll always get questioned, when I am coming back to Australia. The fact that I was giving the bridging visa, to make me able to be here legally, that is a positive aspect. If they thought I was a threat of any kind, I reckon they would have sent me home str8 away. But I never had a visa cancelled, I just overstayed one, by accident. I keep shaking my head and am cursing at myself for doing it the way we did. We had 2 other options, but we didn’t want to call attention to ourselves. So if this application doesn’t go thru, and we lose the appeal..I don’t know if that means there will be an expulsion period for me. And if there is, how long will be be for?
My partner and I were talking, and if the appeal has to go thru, we will more than likely hire a lawyer. They will know more than us, and hopefully will not just try to get money out of us. But the lawyer will know all about what will happen if the appeal doesn’t go thru. Because what my partner and I were going to do, if the appeal didn’t go thru, was we were going to go back home to where I live, for a short period of time..then we’d go back to Australia. But by this time, immigration would clearly know everything and I’m sure I’d be questioned, because my overstay would be on record. But my partner and I would have been cohabitating for over1.5 years, and this would be legally..if you don’t count the 2 months of unlawfullness.
It seems like there are other options we can do if things don’t go our way the first time. But I know that I’m always going to be questioned. Hence why I have a stat dec explaining why I was unlawful for over 60 days. So if the application IS approved, and I leave and come back..and customs questions me, I’ll have the stat dec as proof that I’m not a threat to overstay my visa, and proof of the fact that me overstaying wasn’t my fault. But if the appliation is approved, I have a 2 year temporary residency visa…so I have to be allowed back into the country, and customs can’t really question me. Well, they could, but there certainly wouldn’t be a threat of me overstaying the visa. After the 2 years, if all goes well again with DIMIA, I’m then granted permanent residency..and then we’re home free.
But I don’t want to be thinking like that. I have to be thinking positive, and have to stay positive. Someone said that what would life be like w/o all of these tests we’re faced with. These stressors, and ups and downs in life only goes to prove that we’re all human. I’m taking this as a major hurdle, and one we’re able to overcome, the light at the end of the tunnel will be in full view. My partner and I are in this together, and together we can conquer DIMIA and anything that is thrown at us. We’ve done it for almost 6 years now. Love will get us thru this, and so will the grace of God and any other spiritual being that is out there.
-current mood-STRESSED OUT, seems to be a common occurence for me.
No, I haven’t just gone to an AA or NA meeting. I was talking with a bunch of gals in some of the groups I’m in. I asked how does one deal with stress. For the most part, I’ve gotten great responses. One person told me that “stress came in different degrees, end of story.” Ummm, yeh I wasn’t born yesterday I think I know that. Her post wasn’t very helpful in the slightest, how ever many other great women gave me some great insight and great ideas on how to cope with stress.
Even before someone suggested the “serenity prayer” I had thought about it, and said it to myself last night. But I didn’t say it right ::snickers:: But this prayer holds true to my situation. I have to tell myself that I can change some things, but some things I just can’t change. And I have to learn to decipher between the two. Because if I don’t, and can’t, I’m going to have a lot more stress episodes than I’d like to have. But the thing is, this is who I am. All my life, I have stressed about so many things, big and small, but everything seems to have worked out. So why should this situation be any different? I feel like it’s different, because so much is at stake. It’s not just knowing what grade I’m going to get in class, or anything like that. No, this is far more serious, and if it doesn’t work out, how will I cope then? I’ve waited 6 years to finally be able to live with my partner permanently, and we were so close to having it happen. But now this situation has come up, and I have no idea of the outcome.
I have to keep telling myself not to rush things, that I can’t rush things. I know I want to find out our application status, and I want to get a letter from DIMIA. But I can’t make the letter come any faster than it is supposed to. DIMIA is hopefully doing their job, investigating what happened, and will soon realize it was a genuine mistake, on many parts..and will then send us a letter to have an interview. But waiting and waiting to find out if we get a letter, it’s nervewracking. Every morning I wake up and rush out to check the mail. And every morning I’ve come up empty handed. Maybe it’s a good thing that it’s taking awhile, because that means DIMIA is doing their job, and hopefully a thorough job. But let’s just hope they’re not prolonging the inevitable.
The more I think about it, and the more I talk to people, the more everyone is telling me everything will work out. Everyone I’ve talked to have told me not to stress, and that everything will be okay. My partner doesn’t think we’ll have any problems, my parents don’t, my sister doesn’t…the friend of my mum in laws, said not to stress. I have to keep positive thoughts that everything will fall into place. Everyone is cheering us on, whether they know us or not, and that gives me so much hope.
All of this nightmare brings me back to Border Security, an Aussie show that goes behind the scenes of what happens at immigration and customs at the airport, and on Australian borders. There have been 2 seasons of this show, and I’ve watched every single episode. I was interested in watching the show, to see if there was anything related to our case that I had to be aware of. Most of the offenses were drug related, or trying to bring in items that were not declared. But there were some immigration hold ups. One lady in particular….she was from the UK, her partner was from Australia. She stayed here for a certain period of time, but she overstayed her visa by 4 months. I don’t know if she knowingly did (I believe she did). She hired a migration agent and they told her to go to NZ, and come back…and that she’d not have any problems. She did just that, but when she came back, the Australian immigration people pulled her aside. She ended up having her visa cancelled, and was deported back to the UK, w/o any goodbyes or anything. She went back home, appealed the 3 year expulsion, and was able to come back to Australia. The couple is now married. SO in that case, everything worked out for them.
I wonder, because I was here unlawfully for over 60 days, it’ll now be on my record and if I’ll always get questioned, when I am coming back to Australia. The fact that I was giving the bridging visa, to make me able to be here legally, that is a positive aspect. If they thought I was a threat of any kind, I reckon they would have sent me home str8 away. But I never had a visa cancelled, I just overstayed one, by accident. I keep shaking my head and am cursing at myself for doing it the way we did. We had 2 other options, but we didn’t want to call attention to ourselves. So if this application doesn’t go thru, and we lose the appeal..I don’t know if that means there will be an expulsion period for me. And if there is, how long will be be for?
My partner and I were talking, and if the appeal has to go thru, we will more than likely hire a lawyer. They will know more than us, and hopefully will not just try to get money out of us. But the lawyer will know all about what will happen if the appeal doesn’t go thru. Because what my partner and I were going to do, if the appeal didn’t go thru, was we were going to go back home to where I live, for a short period of time..then we’d go back to Australia. But by this time, immigration would clearly know everything and I’m sure I’d be questioned, because my overstay would be on record. But my partner and I would have been cohabitating for over1.5 years, and this would be legally..if you don’t count the 2 months of unlawfullness.
It seems like there are other options we can do if things don’t go our way the first time. But I know that I’m always going to be questioned. Hence why I have a stat dec explaining why I was unlawful for over 60 days. So if the application IS approved, and I leave and come back..and customs questions me, I’ll have the stat dec as proof that I’m not a threat to overstay my visa, and proof of the fact that me overstaying wasn’t my fault. But if the appliation is approved, I have a 2 year temporary residency visa…so I have to be allowed back into the country, and customs can’t really question me. Well, they could, but there certainly wouldn’t be a threat of me overstaying the visa. After the 2 years, if all goes well again with DIMIA, I’m then granted permanent residency..and then we’re home free.
But I don’t want to be thinking like that. I have to be thinking positive, and have to stay positive. Someone said that what would life be like w/o all of these tests we’re faced with. These stressors, and ups and downs in life only goes to prove that we’re all human. I’m taking this as a major hurdle, and one we’re able to overcome, the light at the end of the tunnel will be in full view. My partner and I are in this together, and together we can conquer DIMIA and anything that is thrown at us. We’ve done it for almost 6 years now. Love will get us thru this, and so will the grace of God and any other spiritual being that is out there.
-current mood-STRESSED OUT, seems to be a common occurence for me.
posted by Gaylicious© at Wednesday, October 05, 2005
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