Strength in Serenity
Last night was the first night in a week that I was home alone. I had a few small breakdowns, but I didn’t cry. Right now, I’m listening to a wonderful cd of nothing but waterfall sounds and the atmosphere is completely relaxing. To my left, is my chalkboard, with my affirmation of the day being “good things come to those who wait.” As I look over onto the ironing board, my kitty Charlie is sleeping peacefully. I look at her and wonder “does she realize just how good she has it? I know she doesn’t know any different, but to have a life like hers, how great would that be right now?”
Every day that goes by, I am trying to find some strength and solace in anything that I can. In one aspect, it’s good that we haven’t heard anything straight away because that means that they’re still looking over our case. But in a different aspect, it also means that they didn’t have the green light before. I keep thinking that they WANT to give me my residency, but because I broke the law, they have to find reasons to give it to me. What makes this all disheartening, is the fact, that HAD we not had this immigration problem, they would be looking to see just how genuine our relationship is. They want to be looking at whether it’s a committed relationship and a continuing one. Clearly with all the evidence we provided (over 250 exhibits) they could clearly see that we are a committed and genuine couple. And that I’m not here in Australia to just get residency. As I told someone before, who asked me if I had any other ties to Australia, my only reason for being here in Australia is because I happened to fall in love with a woman from Australia. If I hadn’t fallen in love with my partner, I wouldn’t be trying to come to Australia. But because of this visa misunderstanding, my partner and I are now pleading our case. Before, they knew we were a genuine couple and our relationship was ongoing. But now immigration is asking us to plead and hope that our commitment to each other is enough reason for them to grant me my visa. If we didn’t have the misunderstanding back in July, there would be no question of whether it was a compelling reason or not, b/c the evidence was clear. But now we are asking ourselves, and immigration is trying to make it seem like it’s NOT compelling enough. It doesn’t seem fair, that at one point we were proving the commitment of our relationship, but now, there is so much more emphasis on our commitment to each other. That I think, aside from not knowing when we’ll find out, is what gets to me the most. They KNOW we’re committed and in a genuine relationship, and if everything happened the way we thought it would have, I’d have my residency right now and I’d be looking for work.
But I can’t dwell on that, or on anything. Immigration hasn’t given us the FULL NO yet. And until they do, I just have to keep hoping and praying that sometime soon we’ll get the good news we want. It’s easy to try and tell myself this, but of course, with the way my mind works, it’s not a possibility for my emotions to come to its senses. I KNOW there isn’t any point in stressing or dwelling on all the things I could have done differently. What I have to focus on, what I have to put my positive energy towards, is the hope and grace that God will help with fate and make everything go the way we wanted. If it doesn’t, my partner and I already have a name of an immigration lawyer that we will go to if we have to lodge an appeal. She’s a friend of a friend, and I just hope she has enough experience to help us win our appeal. For the time being, I’m going to try and stay calm, and eat. I’ve lost about 5 lbs in the past week, and being not very big to start off with, that isn’t healthy.
I had this wonderful “thought of the day” by Ralph Marston, but because of copyright laws, I’m not going to post it in my blog. If you’d like to know what thought I was thinking about, just do a google search for “strength in serenity by Ralph Marston” and you’ll be able to read it. In some instances, you’re able to use it, but I don’t want to infringe on any copyright laws or anything. You know me, I’ve already broken one law, don’t need to do it again eh??
-current mood-IN A DAZE, as thou I'm in a dream..I wish this was all a dream.
Every day that goes by, I am trying to find some strength and solace in anything that I can. In one aspect, it’s good that we haven’t heard anything straight away because that means that they’re still looking over our case. But in a different aspect, it also means that they didn’t have the green light before. I keep thinking that they WANT to give me my residency, but because I broke the law, they have to find reasons to give it to me. What makes this all disheartening, is the fact, that HAD we not had this immigration problem, they would be looking to see just how genuine our relationship is. They want to be looking at whether it’s a committed relationship and a continuing one. Clearly with all the evidence we provided (over 250 exhibits) they could clearly see that we are a committed and genuine couple. And that I’m not here in Australia to just get residency. As I told someone before, who asked me if I had any other ties to Australia, my only reason for being here in Australia is because I happened to fall in love with a woman from Australia. If I hadn’t fallen in love with my partner, I wouldn’t be trying to come to Australia. But because of this visa misunderstanding, my partner and I are now pleading our case. Before, they knew we were a genuine couple and our relationship was ongoing. But now immigration is asking us to plead and hope that our commitment to each other is enough reason for them to grant me my visa. If we didn’t have the misunderstanding back in July, there would be no question of whether it was a compelling reason or not, b/c the evidence was clear. But now we are asking ourselves, and immigration is trying to make it seem like it’s NOT compelling enough.
But I can’t dwell on that, or on anything. Immigration hasn’t given us the FULL NO yet. And until they do, I just have to keep hoping and praying that sometime soon we’ll get the good news we want. It’s easy to try and tell myself this, but of course, with the way my mind works, it’s not a possibility for my emotions to come to its senses. I KNOW there isn’t any point in stressing or dwelling on all the things I could have done differently. What I have to focus on, what I have to put my positive energy towards, is the hope and grace that God will help with fate and make everything go the way we wanted. If it doesn’t, my partner and I already have a name of an immigration lawyer that we will go to if we have to lodge an appeal. She’s a friend of a friend, and I just hope she has enough experience to help us win our appeal. For the time being, I’m going to try and stay calm, and eat. I’ve lost about 5 lbs in the past week, and being not very big to start off with, that isn’t healthy.
I had this wonderful “thought of the day” by Ralph Marston, but because of copyright laws, I’m not going to post it in my blog. If you’d like to know what thought I was thinking about, just do a google search for “strength in serenity by Ralph Marston” and you’ll be able to read it. In some instances, you’re able to use it, but I don’t want to infringe on any copyright laws or anything. You know me, I’ve already broken one law, don’t need to do it again eh??
-current mood-IN A DAZE, as thou I'm in a dream..I wish this was all a dream.
posted by Gaylicious© at Wednesday, October 19, 2005
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