Worst feeling in the world

Well, we got our letter written, and will be sending it off very soon. The letter was 5 pages long, and it was very heartfelt. I had my mum read it before we sent it off to make sure it sounded okay. I hope to God that our case officer sees how heart felt it is, and realizes that NOT granting my visa would be detrimental to the both of us. Anyone can see that we’d be absolutely heartbroken if we had to separate. I understand that the law is the law for a reason. But why isn’t there any leniency? There are exceptions, and I just hope the commitment my partner and I have shown in the past 6 years is enough compelling evidence to persuade who ever it is, that we deserve this visa to be granted.

I’ve hardly been able to eat or keep anything down. My stomach is filled with knots and butterflies, and I can’t help but feel lost inside. It feels like I’ve already died. My partner can see how distraught I’ve been, so she rang up her sister and I’m going over to her place for dinner and a movie. Since my partner works at night, I am all alone during the evenings. This is a time where I especially would have liked to have my partner able to be with me at night. I just have to keep thinking positive and keeping busy may be helpful. It’ll be good that I can talk to someone about this, even if I ultimately know that talking won’t solve anything. All is not lost, I have to keep thinking that. I haven’t been told that I have to go home, not yet. We still have the appeal process. But that costs another 1400, not to mention more time, effort and of course stress. Living day to day is difficult, emotionally more than physically. I need to keep staying positive…my affirmation for today is “where there is a will, there is a way” and my partner and I WILL find a way.

-current mood-SAD and AT A LOSS