Kissing etiquette and showing affection
A dear friend and I were talking last night about incesteuous lesbianism. Now, before you get all flared up, this is something I DO NOT agree with, nor does this dear friend of mine, nor is this the topic of my post. But let’s just say, the topic came up in conversation. It pretty much ended as quickly as it had started. Without giving too much away, because I respect privacy…the topic was mentioned on a website. I don’t agree with incest, and people who delve into that lifestyle may say it’s okay, just like some may say sleeping with someone of the same sex is okay. But personally, I think it’s sick, and it makes me throw up in my mouth, just thinking about it.
Soooo, after this brief discussion, I went to go get ready for bed. As I was in the shower, I got to thinking about kissing etiquette. Depending on how one is brought up, and even where one is brought up, kissing etiquette seems to be different. Growing up for me, my mum and I were very affectionate. I wasn’t so much as affectionate toward my dad or my siblings. But I guess the close bond my mum and I had, I always wanted to get the most hugs out of her. Growing up, we would kiss each other on the lips. Before you get grossed out, they were just little pecks. I thought the kisses were normal, and that nothing was “iffy” about them. I think I kissed my mum on the lips up until recently. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen her, but once in awhile I’d kiss her on the lips. But I kind of felt funny about it, maybe because of my age..so I would usually kiss her on the cheek when ever we’d say our goodbyes.
I rarely would ever kiss my sister and never kiss my brother. My dad, once in awhile, I’d kiss him on the cheek. In truth, I think the only time I’d ever kiss my dad, or hug him, as well as my sister and brother, was if I was leavingg to come here to Australia. The times they’d take me to the airport, they’d hug me and I’d kiss them quickly on the cheek. But I was never really an affectionate person toward the rest of my family, aside from my mum. And they’re really not that affectionate toward each other either. My mum and dad hold hands and kiss, but trust me, it’s not gross. ::laughing lightly:: My sister and her husband are pretty affectionate, but not full on. As for my brother, I have no idea…I’ve never seen him with a girlfriend. And NO, he’s not gay, trust me, he very well likes the ladies.
So I think about how I grew up, how affectionate I was toward my family, and relatives…and an all around anaylysis, is that we’re a pretty affectionate family. I think that’s why I crave affection in my own relationship. I look at my partner’s family and their kissing etiquette, and it’s far different than what I’m used to. I remember when I first came to Australia and I met T’s family. (I know a lot of ppl whose name begins with T) It was odd for me, because we did the 3 kisses on the cheek. I thought it was strange, and to this day, I get confused. Sometimes people (extended family) will give me only one kiss, or they’ll give me 3. But I’m used to just one kiss, or kissing each cheek. I can remember also, being really uncomfortable with it.
There is one relative of T’s, her aunt that I would avoid like the plague when ever I’d see her. I’d avoid her because she’d always want me to give her 3 kisses, but I didn’t want to. She kind of knows now that I don’t like it, because I told her one time, when I wouldn’t go toward her when she was ready to leave. If it wasn’t her that I was avoiding, I’d find someone else to avoid so I could get away with no kissing. Sometimes when I kiss goodbye T’s dad, we sometimes kiss on the lips..but I try to avoid that at all possibilties. We usually just kiss once on the cheek, but I like to give him a hug, and he’s not very huggable. T’s dad has always been really stern and really firm. I think since being in the relationship with his new girlfriend (whom I don’t like at all) he’s way more affectionate. It’s actually odd to see him actually hug and kiss someone. He and T’s mum never did any of that while they were together. But they should have broken up 20 years ago. But that is beside the point here..lol.
The rest of T’s family, they’re not very affectionate. Ti’s mum, since being with her new partner T (see, another person I know whose name begins with the letter T) she’s much more affectionate. We kind of tease them, because frankly sometimes it’s just not something you want to think about (i.e. your parents having sex). But even T’s sisters…they’re not that affectionate. T, who is married, is affectionate toward me, she’s not afraid to hug me..and kissy too when she’s had a bit to drink (but not in an incestuous way..get your mind out of the gutter). But she’s not affectionate toward her husband at all. They’ve been together 26 years I think this March, and I’ve been here for over 2 years, if you include the current time, plus all the vacations..and I’ve never once, seen them kiss, or hold hands. S, the other sister, isn’t married anymore…but never saw them affectionate either. S isn’t affectionate, she’s loud, and just doesn’t show a lot of emotion, other than being really loud. Just recently, I started seeing her being more affectionate toward her kids.
But nothing like what our family grew up with. Our family was always so very loving and affectionate, maybe that’s why I’m as loving and affectionate as I am. And I’m not being smart…lol, it’s how I am in real life. If I had it my way, I’d always hold hands with my partner, and we’d be hugging all the time. We rarely hug at home, and if we’re in public, my partner feels really uncomfortable if I put my arm around her. I don’t do it very often, but I put my arm around her, in a friendly gesture. I’m not all over her..but I guess T’s never been shown that sort of affection. Certainly not in her past relationships. We’ve talked about how uncomfortable she feels, and it’s not just this relationship. She says it’s every relationship she’s been in, she just doesn’t feel comfortable. But because my family members were always hugging and tickling each other, I just got accustomed to showing that sort of affection to others. But I’m finding it hard to do that here. I certainly wouldn’t do it with T’s family. They seem to be much more reserved in their ability to show affection.
-current mood-EXCITED to be going to look for a car later today..let's hope I don't get a sleazy salesperson.
Soooo, after this brief discussion, I went to go get ready for bed. As I was in the shower, I got to thinking about kissing etiquette. Depending on how one is brought up, and even where one is brought up, kissing etiquette seems to be different. Growing up for me, my mum and I were very affectionate. I wasn’t so much as affectionate toward my dad or my siblings. But I guess the close bond my mum and I had, I always wanted to get the most hugs out of her. Growing up, we would kiss each other on the lips. Before you get grossed out, they were just little pecks. I thought the kisses were normal, and that nothing was “iffy” about them. I think I kissed my mum on the lips up until recently. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen her, but once in awhile I’d kiss her on the lips. But I kind of felt funny about it, maybe because of my age..so I would usually kiss her on the cheek when ever we’d say our goodbyes.
I rarely would ever kiss my sister and never kiss my brother. My dad, once in awhile, I’d kiss him on the cheek. In truth, I think the only time I’d ever kiss my dad, or hug him, as well as my sister and brother, was if I was leavingg to come here to Australia. The times they’d take me to the airport, they’d hug me and I’d kiss them quickly on the cheek. But I was never really an affectionate person toward the rest of my family, aside from my mum. And they’re really not that affectionate toward each other either. My mum and dad hold hands and kiss, but trust me, it’s not gross. ::laughing lightly:: My sister and her husband are pretty affectionate, but not full on. As for my brother, I have no idea…I’ve never seen him with a girlfriend. And NO, he’s not gay, trust me, he very well likes the ladies.
So I think about how I grew up, how affectionate I was toward my family, and relatives…and an all around anaylysis, is that we’re a pretty affectionate family. I think that’s why I crave affection in my own relationship. I look at my partner’s family and their kissing etiquette, and it’s far different than what I’m used to. I remember when I first came to Australia and I met T’s family. (I know a lot of ppl whose name begins with T) It was odd for me, because we did the 3 kisses on the cheek. I thought it was strange, and to this day, I get confused. Sometimes people (extended family) will give me only one kiss, or they’ll give me 3. But I’m used to just one kiss, or kissing each cheek. I can remember also, being really uncomfortable with it.
There is one relative of T’s, her aunt that I would avoid like the plague when ever I’d see her. I’d avoid her because she’d always want me to give her 3 kisses, but I didn’t want to. She kind of knows now that I don’t like it, because I told her one time, when I wouldn’t go toward her when she was ready to leave. If it wasn’t her that I was avoiding, I’d find someone else to avoid so I could get away with no kissing. Sometimes when I kiss goodbye T’s dad, we sometimes kiss on the lips..but I try to avoid that at all possibilties. We usually just kiss once on the cheek, but I like to give him a hug, and he’s not very huggable. T’s dad has always been really stern and really firm. I think since being in the relationship with his new girlfriend (whom I don’t like at all) he’s way more affectionate. It’s actually odd to see him actually hug and kiss someone. He and T’s mum never did any of that while they were together. But they should have broken up 20 years ago. But that is beside the point here..lol.
The rest of T’s family, they’re not very affectionate. Ti’s mum, since being with her new partner T (see, another person I know whose name begins with the letter T) she’s much more affectionate. We kind of tease them, because frankly sometimes it’s just not something you want to think about (i.e. your parents having sex). But even T’s sisters…they’re not that affectionate. T, who is married, is affectionate toward me, she’s not afraid to hug me..and kissy too when she’s had a bit to drink (but not in an incestuous way..get your mind out of the gutter). But she’s not affectionate toward her husband at all. They’ve been together 26 years I think this March, and I’ve been here for over 2 years, if you include the current time, plus all the vacations..and I’ve never once, seen them kiss, or hold hands. S, the other sister, isn’t married anymore…but never saw them affectionate either. S isn’t affectionate, she’s loud, and just doesn’t show a lot of emotion, other than being really loud. Just recently, I started seeing her being more affectionate toward her kids.
But nothing like what our family grew up with. Our family was always so very loving and affectionate, maybe that’s why I’m as loving and affectionate as I am. And I’m not being smart…lol, it’s how I am in real life. If I had it my way, I’d always hold hands with my partner, and we’d be hugging all the time. We rarely hug at home, and if we’re in public, my partner feels really uncomfortable if I put my arm around her. I don’t do it very often, but I put my arm around her, in a friendly gesture. I’m not all over her..but I guess T’s never been shown that sort of affection. Certainly not in her past relationships. We’ve talked about how uncomfortable she feels, and it’s not just this relationship. She says it’s every relationship she’s been in, she just doesn’t feel comfortable. But because my family members were always hugging and tickling each other, I just got accustomed to showing that sort of affection to others. But I’m finding it hard to do that here. I certainly wouldn’t do it with T’s family. They seem to be much more reserved in their ability to show affection.
-current mood-EXCITED to be going to look for a car later today..let's hope I don't get a sleazy salesperson.
posted by Gaylicious© at Friday, January 13, 2006
3 Comments:
I am so there with you, G! I still kiss my mum on the lips. It's kinda strange because she's not affectionate a lot of the time with me. I guess it's something we've both gotten used to and i'm not complaining.
The way i greet Daddy is the way the most locals do. I touch my forehead to his hand. The gesture is called "Mano po", and it's asking for a father's blessing.
My brothers are affectionate with each other, the way jocks are. So there are all kinds of different handshakes and punches and tackles. Boys will be boys. I usually get a one armed hug and a peck on the cheek, or if they really want to gross me out, a lick. Yuck! icky! My favorite brother, who's a Scorpio, always gives me a very gentle embrace with both arms.
When i lived in the UK, there was a lot of kissing hello and good-bye. A European thing i guess. Usually two, but the Gallic style was three. I kinda miss it.
Here in the Philippines it's called "beso-beso" (kiss-kiss) and it's either a society or showbiz type of greeting, similar to air kisses back home.
Thanks for sharing :)
I always know I can count on you to leave a comment. As I said, you're my most loyal reader..and I WILL give out that award, when you least expect it ::snickers::
Talk to you tonight.
-G-
I'm Canadian. I peck my father on the lips, and it's slobbery, but not anything else. I have never kissed my mother on the lips, but I kissed an old lady who was like a grandmother to me on the lips when she was dying in the hospital. I know of one or two others who kiss their fathers, but it doesn't seem common, and I don't know that I do know of anyone who kisses their mother. It's an interesting subject, that people don't seem to think about much though. I guess it's just quickly done and then forgotten about, usually. As for the three kiss thing, in Quebec, (the french part of Canada) it's customary for all friends to greet and say goodbye with a kiss on each cheek. I hate it. My good Quebecquois friend knows that I hate it, and will usually hugs me, but I have to do it with other acquaintences who might not understand if I tell them I hate it.
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