Out of sight, out of mind

The year anniversary of my move to Australia is coming up here in a few weeks. September 12th will be one year that I have been in Australia. It is hard to believe that I have been here this long. As I think about it, I can’t believe time has quickly gone by. It feels like yesterday, or only months ago that I got on that plane and flew all the way here. I can still picture the tears on my mum’s face as I hugged her for the last time. I can still remember how warm it was and how utterly excited I was that this day had finally arrived. So many positive memories come to mind when I think about how I felt way back a year ago.

But at the same time, I’m deeply saddened. Saddened because I left a bunch of great people back at home. Things started out great, my friends kept in touch with me and tried to make an effort to keep in contact with me. But the more I kept emailing them, the less they would reply back to me. I got sort of upset because I thought the friendship meant more to them then what has been expressed. I understand that people have their own lives to live, but once a month would be nice to get an email from someone. No one back in the states keeps in contact with me, other than my family. I don’t have any friends here yet, and it would have been nice to just keep in contact, that way a part of me was still at home. The last time I got an email from a friend in the states was back in July I think. And the only reason why she emailed me was because I had sent her an e-greeting for her birthday. She emailed me, thanking me for the card, so I emailed her back and asked her if she did anything for her birthday. It was a big one this year, big 30, I wanted to know what had happened. I still haven’t heard back from her.

I feel like the saying “out of sight, out of mind” when you’re not in front of someone, or in their presence physically, they seem to forget about you. Why is that, I have asked myself. And why is it, that this happens every time I make friends. How come I am the one who is always doing the leg work? If I don’t keep in touch with people, I don’t ever hear from them. As I said earlier, I thought the friendship meant more to them than what has been shown. I don’t think I could ever talk about this to my friends because they’d give some excuse that they were super busy. It takes 10 minutes to sit down and write an email, or to pick up the phone and ring me. I just can’t understand why people always do this to me. Am I such a bad person that people feel like they have to ignore me to get me out of their life? I know my friends still care about me, and I know when I go back home, they’ll be all excited. But notice, that’s when I’m physically there, they can get excited. They can still miss me, but that shouldn’t prevent them from staying in touch. This may not bother some people, but it really bothers me.

-current mood-INVISIBLE