"Baby Don't Break My Heart Slow"

The past few weeks, I’ve been reminscing about the break up of my last relationship and just how it came about. I’ve been listening to the Vonda Shephard and Emily Saliers song “Baby Don’t Break My Heart Slow” and it takes me back to a time, where my then partner, told me that this song meant a lot to her. It meant a lot because it wasn’t the way she wanted things to end up, if and when it came to that time. She would have prefered me tell her straight away if things were going awry, then to drag it on. When I knew that things were going downhill, I let her know. Maybe I let her know too quickly, because I wasn’t about to give her another chance. Not to go into a lot of detail, but I wish I could take back the way things ended with us. I wasn’t the most civil person when it came to breaking up. But there’s no point in me dwelling about it, is there? I try to tell myself that, but at times, I still feel pretty bad about the whole situation.

Every time I hear the song, or watch the episodes in Ally McBeal, which this song is played, tears come to my eyes. I don’t know if it’s more because of the song itself, or the meaning behind it. During the times of separation that my now partner and I had (when we were separated by water) we would send songs to each other, that had some sort of meaning at the time. This was one of the songs I sent to her, during a time where things were rocky. It’s never been that my partner has cheated on me or even thought about it. But the song made me sad, because it related to her, and her past relationship. In her first gay relationship, her ex girlfriend was the sort of person to leave my partner at home, while she went off and did her own thing with who ever she wanted. Her ex girlfriend was an alcoholic, and loved to party. My partner was not into that scene, probably why they didn’t last. But I hear the song and I just get sad, because it makes me think of my partner being home alone, wondering what is going on, when her partner, the one who supposedly loves her, is out fornicating with someone else.

I thought I’d share the song lyrics. It’s a very nice ballad, though it always brings tears to my eyes. But nonetheless, listen to the song if you’re able to.

I like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken,Do you say, do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever
But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

I like the way you'd hold me
Every night for so long baby
And I like the way you'd say my name
In the middle of the night
While you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken
Do you mean, do you mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

You would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home still thinking that we're together
I wanted our love to last forever
I was believing in you

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

p 1999 Three Roads, Inc. © 1999 Vendredi Music (ASCAP)

-current mood-MOPEY, just cuz.