Ponderings while on the toilet

I was on the toilet today and I got to thinking. Well, first off, what an unusual spot to be thinking you say? Yeh maybe, but some of the best ideas have come from being on the toilet. Anyhow, I was on the toilet, and I got thinking “I hate the toilets here.” I hate them for two reasons 1) The toilet is separate from the rest of the bathroom and 2) There isn’t enough water in the toilet. Back in the states, the water is pretty high, makes flooding super easy. But the nice thing about the larger amount of water, is when “objects” drop in the toilet, there isn’t as much of a splash. Here, my bum always gets wet, and then I have to spend a few extra moments wiping the water from my bum. If I wanted a beday, I’d buy one. And what is it about having the toilet separate from the rest of the bathroom. My parents have this in their house, but most houses I remember in the states, they had both together. I don’t like the toilet separated. Okay, so if you’re going to be in there a long time (such as myself earlier today) it’s nice to not have to wait till the person is out. But call me lazy, I hate having to go to another room to wash my hands.

As I was on the toilet as well, I got thinking “do people ever wonder if a snake will one day crawl up and bite me in the arse?” I know the chance of a snake getting thru the sewage system is pretty nil, but has it ever happened? What about rats or other animals that live in the sewage system. Does that ever come across your mind as you’re sitting on the loo, takin’ a “load” off I know I’d surely be crappin’ my boots if I felt something crawling up my toilet.

Another thing I was thinking about, was the fact that post offices are different here than in the states. The postal service in general is different. In the states, you have your basic counters, with a stamp machine and a few boxes or envelopes you can buy if you wish. At the post office, you can get money orders (I think) as well as your other “usual” stuff.

Here in Australia, post offices are different. You can buy heaps of stuff at the post office. You can buy paper, art supplies, pencils, pens, cards, calenders, post cards, printers, mobile phones, all different stuff. And aside from the usual mailing stuff, people pay their bills a lot at the post office. Back in the states, we’re used to sending a personal check, or putting it on your credit card to pay bills. Here, you go physically down, and usually pay with cash. Some companies I think, you can pay with credit card or debit card, but you can usually do that over the phone or the internet. Writing checks is not big here, not big at all. Most people do debit or credit transations. I hate going down to the post office to pay all my bills, hence probably why I pay most of them over the phone.

Another quirky thing about the postal service, mail doesn’t come on weekends. And not only that, we can only receive mail. If you want to post something, you have to take it to the post office, or drop it off at one of the “designated” mailboxes. There are no flags we stick up when mail is ready to be sent. I guess it’s okay in the sense that it prevents mail fraud, but people can still get into your mailbox if you don’t lock up your box. People can also steal your newspaper. They wrap it up on plastic, and throw it where ever they seem fit. No special paperbox, but on the ground, where someone can snatch it. We’ve had quite a few instances where our newspaper has been snatched. NOT HAPPY JAN!!

The final thing I got to thinking about while on the loo, was how much I hate the mayonnaise here. I hate it with a passion, and will eat it only when it’s on a hamburger from Hungry Jacks ™. I can’t have a tuna fish sandwich, I can’t have my great potato salads, and I can’t have ranch dressing here. The mayonnaise is sweet, it has sugar. W/o a doubt, the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd ingredient is going to be sugar. People have told me that I can go to an “American” store in the city to buy no sugar mayonnaise, but I don’t want to travel that far. I could of course, make my own, but that goes off so quickly. If only there wasn’t so much egg in the mayonnaise from home, I’d be able to import it w/o a special permit. I tried to, but they said I needed a special permit that cost 100.00 or something like that. Anything to get money out of people. I suffer in silence, but there is so much I’m missing out.

Ahh, the things one thinks about while on the toilet. Oh, and for intuitive minds, the water goes clockwise when it goes down the drain. At least I think so

-current mood-CONTENT